Monday, December 11, 2006

Power of Attorney

Sometimes, in the middle of crisis, my thinking, logical side... never very developed ...shuts down completely. My emotional body takes over and I have difficulty remaining balanced.

At times like these, I am thankful for my friends...I need the thinking minds, unclouded by the emotional storm of my personal life, to give me directions.

Dirty Butter, Chris, Shaman Maggie and so many others have given me that direction in many different areas. But the one item that I forgot has me stymied...but it is only a setback.

Not one of us has full Power of Attorney or Representation Agreement for health care for my mother. The reason things went relatively smoothly with my father-in-law is because we had that particular document. I am a former legal secretary; I know how important this document is. It is ingrained in me.

I allowed my mother to continually tell me that this would be too "invasive" for her. She could not make up her mind; she would not agree, saying she didn't require it, even after the information was explained to her in a very simple way. The times weren't dire; she was managing...and time went on. I still could not convince her. And here I am.

The medical people aren't required to speak to me...or anyone else, other than my mother. The fact that she's confused makes no difference. Without that document protecting her, my mother makes decisions that are potentially dangerous. And even if I do get an appointment with her doctor, unless Mom gives express permission...he does not have to divulge full information.

I remember well how many times the Power of Attorney document was used with my aged and confused father-in-law. I was given proxy, in my ex-husband's absence, and I made many decisions with Specialists, Nurses and Home Care regarding his care. They all spoke with me, the information that was given was detailed and easily couched in layman's terms.

But I forgot, in the raging river rapids I found myself in with my mother, that I had that all-important paper, when I dealt with my father-in-law.

It is an important lesson.

This is what can happen to me, when I let unbalanced bodies full reign. I realized, quite early on in my care of my mother, that I would have to research the laws on Power of Attorney. The laws changed shortly after I left the legal field. But I let the opportunity pass, lulled by week after week of no problems arising.

With Wind howling outside at 90 km, my thinking is becoming clearer...not so awash with watery emotion. I needed to have silence; I needed the calm that meditation induces within me...the balance. This brings the peace, the quiet within the storm. And within this peace, I connect with all the energies available to me...I contact the Source.

There is no way that I can tell you how strength to fight on rebuilds within me, easily overtaking the rampant emotional body, and taking control...smoothing the raging waters.

I have many more tools, now, than before I encount- ered this Storm. I have learned an important lesson, with the help of my guides and my friends. Without my friends, the quietly whispered words that were echoing in my mind...the words Power of Attorney...would not have surfaced.

And my mother, in Canada, has " the right to live at risk". So she may or may not agree, to my desire to help her.

I have to accept either of her choices.


  1. I wish you much success in obtaining these all important documents. Just remember, to get the Lawyer to sign the Power of Attorney and Health Care Proxy papers, she will need to appear to be of right mind. Don't be talking to them about how confused she is. There will be other people to tell that to, once you have the papers.

    YOU GO GIRL!!!

  2. You have learned a very valuable lesson. It does not lighten the load that your heart has to carry, yet it gives some comfort to know the direction you have to persue. It is difficult when the role of mother and child suddenly reverses. God bless you and may your guides and your spirit walk along with you in this trip through the uncertain.

  3. Hi Marion. A fellow blogger has recommended you to be interviewed for the next FEATURED VILLAGER over in BLOG VILLAGE! If you are interested please contact me.

    I realize that you are going through a tough time, so keep in mind that when you are ready to be interviewed just let me know.

  4. Anonymous1:30 p.m.

    I do appreciate your feelings here, but to have power over one's own life is something that is precious for us all.

    My own Mother had an inner wisdom about her last days and her dying. It was in her time and her control.

    She made the decisions, not her doctors and not us.

    You have a wonderful wisdom and I can imagine your mother would have the same.

    Watching my own mother's decisions was a powerful journey for myself and my sisters but she taught us valuable lessons up to her last breath by doing it her way.

  5. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family, Marion.

  6. Yes, DB, it is looking more and more that she has her good days and then the bad. I'm afraid it could be almost too late with regards to confusion. If she is deemed so, she cannot sign.

    Thank you, Dave,I feel remarkably calm after continually accessing guidance and using it!

    Sure, Janey, just let me know what I'm to do!

  7. Hi Marion, I sent you an email with the interview questions. Thanks