Monday, November 05, 2012

Slow Down and Enjoy...

The Stone fence is well fortified
How strange it is to live in an area where there is so much traffic. It is difficult to explain the road configurations where I live...there are four stop signs on the corner where our home is situated. If a driver is not paying attention, he might miss one of those stop signs...and then, if cars are coming from one of the other roads that intersects, two of which have no stop signs...there is more honking and vile language issuing forth than I have heard in a long time.

This fence is built behind the first Rock Garden, divided by a gravel walkway
Rain, a weather anomaly which residents here should certainly be accustomed to, makes the road, covered in Leaves and Needles from the Trees everywhere, slippery. One large white truck came barrelling down the main road and tried to make the rather sharp turn to one of the feeder routes, and ended up slamming against the Rock Garden outside of our Rock-fortified fence.

There are some mighty large Boulders making up that Rock Garden. And it was a mighty large crunch I heard when the truck hit the Rocks.

So it was with some trepidation that I wandered through the gate to have a look at what had just occurred. As I did, I saw the white truck back up from the Boulders, with quite a large, new dent in the side door, and take off very quickly, down the road. I imagine he was hoping no one had seen him, since he did not want to pay for any other damage than what he had inflicted upon his truck!

I went to see what the damage was to our Rock Garden. Three large Boulders had been displaced, but not badly. The main damage appeared to be on the truck, which came out the worse by far!

What amazes me the most about the intersection is that it has been as it is for years. There is nothing new, which might confuse drivers. The problem, as far as I can see, is that people drive far too fast on these small country roads. There are signs everywhere to slow down, take a wide turn around Horses and their riders, watch for Deer, children would have to be blind not to see all those warning signs.

Golden Maple Leaves shine in the misty light of Dawn
There is even a sign that tells drivers to slow down and enjoy the many varied farms in the district. Slow down and enjoy...

I drive by that sign about once a week, as I drive to a pet store that has the treats Lucky can't seem to live without. And the part about slowing down and enjoying the sights, scenery and just life...well, that part has hit home with me. 

The slow down part, at least.

For the last few months, I have been going at top speed. I have ignored pain and all the rest of the goodies Fibro and Arthritis can give; sleep became elusive, and tiredness was just a part of every day.

I find I am out of energy now. I can't find any more. Most of the time, last week, I found myself sitting down often, staring into space.  

I don't have the time to do this! 

Apples from a grafted Tree in our backyard...three varieties!
There are still boxes to open, the family room still needs to be put together, doctors and dentists to find...and oh! things do have to be organized! This, on top of doing other activities I've promised myself...including writing more often, interaction on the web, visiting scores of places here in Victoria where I have not been for years, signing up for art courses, finding new plant nurseries to wander in...the list goes on and on.

Yet, I can find no inclination to do any of them.

I want someone to take my hand, open a box for me, unwrap the first innocuous item, and then tell me it goes on the third shelf in the left cupboard in the hall. My decision making is at an all-time low. 

I do recognize this feeling, though. In one way or another, I've gone through them before...after divorce, after Katrina's death, and after moving to a completely different part of the province. All very stressful times, some worse than others, of course, where one must get through the Storm using every last bit of energy one can find. 

There is a small creek somewhere under the Leaves!
And then, the clean-up begins...

But before the clean-up, before the rebuilding of self or home, there is a time where the heart and mind catch up with each other. Heart tells Mind to settle down, open up and receive the love pouring in from every corner, smile, laugh and dance.

Mind tells Heart there are things to be done. Laughing and dancing in joyful abandonment are not appropriate at this time...damn it, finish what has been begun... 

Most of the time, since all this began with our move, Mind calls the shots. Keeping my Mind on the work to be done was all I did for the last few months. Very little time was spent in feeling Heartful.

I was mostly Mindful. 

Heart, very recently, has begun to demand equal time. Time to miss our old home and friends left behind in the Cariboo, time to miss the first Snow and Cold there ( yes, even this!), time to mourn a little. Time to feel gleeful, as well, to have found a place to land that is uncanny in its familiarity. Time for spiritual practices, time to talk to the Trees and Shrubs that grow here with such abandonment, time to go visit the Beach.

The Horse Farm, seen through the back fence, on an early showery Morning
Heart, left to its own devices, would say Begone! to all the niggling, mundane things left to do, whereas Mind would say those other fanciful things will be there when the practical work is done.

Last week, I was balancing the two, along with resting my Body, which aches a little more than it did when I first arrived.

I have no schedule, really. I can do as I like. When the family room becomes too much of an irritant, I will do it...I will feel like it then. And I have decided that every day I will do something to feed my Heart's requirements. Remembering Balance is what I needed.

And today, outside with Lucky, I heard two cyclists riding by.   (There are many cyclists here. I see groups of them riding every day. The winding, narrow Tree-lined roads are perfect for them.) 

Super place for small children to play on their bikes!
One said to the leader...I have no energy at all...

And the other said...Yeah. I'm not doing the whole route today...

I'd guess that's me. I don't think I'm going to do the whole route today.

I'm going to try the first part of the title to this post...the slowing down part today.

And tomorrow...I'll begin to enjoy.