Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Spirit's Eve

The veil between Worlds is thin during the days preceding, including and following Halloween.

The boundaries become translucent. Spirits of all kinds wander the Earth, trying once more to experience Life.

Odd dreams have populated my sleep these last few nights, dreams which are disturbing and unexplainable. I catch glimpses of people, here and there, as I work in what will be a garden.

These phantoms...they no longer startle me.  I have accepted their curiosity. And I most often feel approval emanating from them.

But not always. 

I am accustomed to being visited by Spirits. I do not always see them, but the feeling, when they arrive, is unmistakable. The Spirits who visit most often...close family and friends...have a familiar energy.  I welcome those energies, which sometimes coalesce into a vague human form, with all my heart.

However, the last few nights, I have been visited by one who is not someone I know. When I feel his darker energy, I feel deep fear.

This phantom growls.  He moves items, noisily and with intent, so that I may be startled awake. The night becomes blacker and deeper...there are no shadows.

I can see nothing. But I feel and hear him...and I quickly cover every inch of my body, telling myself I'm dreaming...telling myself to wake up, yet knowing I am not asleep...

I shook it off, the next day. I fully accept not all Spirits are good. However, it is very rare for me to be visited by a malevolent one.

Busy with the day, the deep fear faded within me.

I had almost forgotten, as I prepared myself for sleep, dozing in that wonderful pre-sleep, floating through the day gone by......

Very suddenly, peace departed...to be replaced by sheer black terror. It became very hard to breathe, as I struggled to contain my fear. Recognizing, honouring and controlling this fear is imperative when being visited.

Fear clouds awareness; I needed to know this being, in order to deal with him. And fear drains my power.

I become angry, as is common for me when I am overwhelmed by enormous presentiment. I sit up in the deep darkness, pushing my energy out, to the forefront. I decide I do not want to be frightened by this dead being, night after night.

And so, I feel I must stand and face this fearful Thing.

As I do, fearfulness fades...and curiosity takes its place. What or who is emanating such black energy?

In the midst of what I consider to be very disruptive noise, Graham sleeps on...as do the dogs. The visitor is here for me alone.

I feel my guides near.  I feel protected by my Guardian medallion, which I had slipped under my pillow earlier. Yet there is an intense pressure...a force keeping me still...

I negotiate. Let me know your intent, I say, Why are you here? But there are only strange growls in reply. I sense, also, a feeling of futility and sadness.

The growls and banging fade.  The Night becomes soft and shadowy once again, the furniture outlined clearly against the walls. The entity has departed.

Sleeps eludes for awhile; I decide to smudge with clear intent in the morning. As I lay in wonderment and perplexity, I considered the fact we had excavated an area where I felt a very strong energy field. Perhaps, even with all the preparations I undertook, with respect to the land, something feels displaced and disoriented.

After a thorough smudging and blessing, last night's sleep was undisturbed, by the being, at least.  Dreams, however, were troubling, with no apparent meaning.

But the memory of this dark force has me unsettled. Who, what, why? There are no answers, as yet. However, I feel  I must prepare.

Halloween...the Night the Spirits walk...has yet to arrive.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Sunrise in the Mountains

This morning I was greeted by the most impressive Sunrise I have yet to see, here in the Cariboo.  The show began slowly, built up and coloured the World a gorgeous orange-red-pink, the intensity of which changed the colour of the closed drapes.

And when I opened the drapes to see, my mouth opened in amazement. Through the Trees, Sun rising looked much like a huge Fire lighting the horizon. The glorious fingers of Sun licked Tree branches, back lighting them against a deep red Sky.

The message of Hope from Creator lasted only seconds...

It was enough to give me a reminder of renewal and anticipation. It is a new Day; the Sunrise reminds me of intentions and inspiration and gives me Will to follow through.

But the heart stopping beauty of the Message reminded me of Sam Beam's (Iron and Wine) words in his song Upwards Over the Mountain..."So may the Sunrise bring hope where once it was forgotten"...and quite suddenly, an epiphany, if you will...I knew, deep in the Heart of me, that I had, for a bit, forgotten. 

I had forgotten the tremendous uplift Hope gives me and, I suppose, countless others. For what is Life without this intangible feeling that all will be right?

During the last weeks, Hope has risen and fallen.  Answers have been difficult to come by.  Inspiration and creativity have fallen drastically, for me. It is as if I was waiting...for what, though?

During this odd waiting period, I could feel myself falling into the deep pit of Worry. Endlessly, I discussed my problems with myself, focusing without reprieve on the drastic state of things. And dwelling on Anger, fuelled by my seeming helplessness.

And this morning...I understood.  There is no waiting for things to be right.  They already are. As the Stones tell me...Things are exactly the way they should be, at this moment in time. Right now. The future is unknown; the past is just that.

People say the future is so uncertain.  But how do they know? Change can happen quickly...every Day can be taken with anticipation...a Day where aspirations can be fulfilled. A Day filled with uplifting Hope, instead of depressing Despondency.

Sunrise...every day Sun rises. Every Day, I can choose to see it and the Message given...or not. And if I choose to see, feel and even hear Sun's song of Hope...the Day begins with anticipatory excitement, colouring my World with peaceful, strong intentions.

If I choose to see Sun's rising as nothing much...He rises every Day, after all...I'll waste this precious Day, this precious Moment, with cloudy, perturbed thoughts.  Thoughts which can distort the Future. And my thoughts are possibly the only thing I can control.

Sun's message of Hope, now residing deeply within, lends positive reinforcement to what I want my Future to become. It is a work in progress, my Future, and I would prefer to drape it unequivocally with Happiness.
And this Morning's Sun rising gave me the impetus to do just that.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Musing With Stones

When I first arrived here, in the Cariboo and on this property, I wondered if I would ever find the deep connection I have had to other lands in the past.

There were no gardens here.  And in hindsight, this was a very good thing.

In order to feel the Spirit of the land, I had to work with it.  I worked with Stones and Boulders this time, noting the gargoyles and mischievous elves on the faces of the Stones. I walked the excavated earth; I noted which Stones I wanted...and then I picked them up (or in some cases, rolled them) and put them in their new places.

Each time I did this, I noted a pleasant feeling, a feeling of rightness and peace, deep in my soul. It was strong and very grounding.

I picked up a few favourite Stones the other day.  I placed them along the railing of the Deck, in order to sense their special energy a little more often than some I work with.

Large Boulder is easier for me to sense than these much smaller ones. He has become a confidante; the other day I sensed a bolt of his warm energy that quite took me aback. It is time, I think, to visit him a little more often, which will be much easier to do with the undergrowth melted away with the oncoming Winter's strong Wind.

His energy is much the same as Grandfather Tree has.  I am grateful to have found Large Boulder...to have him receive my latest joys and woes, sending them back to me with a slower, easier perspective.

The anxiety the financial Winds have carried lately seep away when I work with Stones.  Stones have stories to tell of the past and predictions of the future, if I listen well and with strong awareness.

The uppermost message I receive is all is exactly as it should be, here, today and now. The World is changing, I hear, and it is a process.  In order to get from here to there takes time and great energy...blasting through a wall sometimes causes greater shredding destruction than long, slow curves around it.

And I hear them counsel patience...a trait I seem to have been born without...I hear them remind me of the youth of the World who already demonstrate a different way.  I am reminded of the power youth has. I was one, once, in an earlier time...

Musing with Stones as an ally takes time.  Stones tell their stories, sometimes with great sonorous sighs, slowly. It does no good to hurry them.

But I come away with a great sense of Hope.  Indeed, youngsters are now being taught to honour the Earth and her bounty. Much more than I ever was.

Working with these Stones is an opportunity I can experience here, on this gravelly, hilly property. There is no lack of them; they seem to move around on their own, sometimes. And at other times, a Stone will resist being moved...if it does not want to move easily, I leave them be.

It is an opportunity to know Stone's energy, living here...being propelled here. There is a reason for it.

And all I have to do is have Patience.  

And Hope.

Note: These photos of Grandson Graydon were taken by Granddaughter Bree, a talented photographer in her own right.

Thursday, October 02, 2008

Going South

For the last few days, a very warm South Wind has tenderly and gently blown off many of Aspen's golden Leaves, carpeting the ground in glory.

We have worked hard this summer; a South Wind blowing at this time of year in the Cariboo is a call...a soft whisper which reminds me it is time to visit the Coast.

Time to once again enter the realm of family and the stories of happenings in their lives...I want enough of those stories to last me until the next visit.

The dogs, sensing us leaving, followed me around with great anxiety...until Faye from the Urban Pooch Pet Sitting Service arrived. She reminded them of last time, when they went for long rambles through as yet undiscovered bush...and after a moment of recognition and a great deal of sniffing, they were ecstatic.

I cannot begin to tell you how grateful I am Faye was sent to us, as we fumbled our way on a different path. She makes it easy for us to take overnight holidays or...a trip to the Coast.

Take a break from the incessant renovations and building and excavators...so says South Wind, in a sibilant whisper.

And so we will. 

Graham formed the concrete for the Woodworking Shop slab and contracted out the finishing. As he worked on this project, I built garden beds...everywhere.  There are empty beds wherever the eye rests...awaiting Hostas, Ferns, Columbines, and Lilac Trees.

As I built the beds, I took notice of the different faces on the Stones and Boulders I used for edging.  Some were very distinctive...dignified and mischievous, all at the same time. And some had definite gargoyle-like tendencies...but all fell into place neatly, looking very pleased with themselves.

I find very white Quartz Stones with veins of a dull, burnished gold running through them, as I search the construction area for Rocks who draw my attention.

One is very smooth and warm, in the shape of a ball cap. I have him sitting on the deck railing; to run one's hand over his back is to find instant peace. He is white, with the aforementioned veins...and he draws my attention, each time I pass.

There will be time to meditate with this Stone when I return. There are messages he wants to pass on.

I have a list of things-to-do, on my return.  As long as I can, I will work on those garden beds until the weather chases me indoors.

The master bedroom requires painting and new flooring, as does the rest of the house.  The scullery is still just the old kitchen...not yet ready for the work a scullery is known for.

And my office...yikes, my office!  It will take me a great deal of courage to tackle this room.  But I want to do it soon...I have not as yet grown accustomed to where everything is...and if items must be moved, it will be easier for me.  

The old memory not being what it once was, you understand.

I want to learn more about quilting.  I have a sewing machine now, courtesy of Graham's mother, and I intend to put it to good use during the long Winter days.

There are myriad other important items on the list.  They deserve my undivided attention, without the resentment that can simmer, when beautiful days are filled with hard work.

That resentment fades away, however, when I look up and see the golden Leaves fall, spinning lazily down to Mother Earth.

And when I listen to South Wind, who beckons so strongly from the Coast.