A New Home

Our New Home

Sometimes, when Lucky and I go for our Morning walk or when Graham and I go for a leisurely drive...I want to pinch myself. I must surely be dreaming a lovely, lucid dream...

The decision made, the employment accepted...those two things spun my life around for a few months. I'm so glad, now, I had that time, yet the period before we moved seemed never-ending.

Somewhere amongst all the decluttering, the garage sales, finishing bathroom renovations,  placing our home on the market, finding renters when it did not sell in our two week allotted time period for a sale...somewhere during that time we took a trip to the City of Victoria to find a home to rent.

One of the stained glass windows and wood ceiling

Oh, my! What we had considered reasonable rent turned out to give us very old, non-updated, rather unsafe homes. In one place, we were advised not to turn on one appliance with another...

We had given ourselves two days to find a home. Graham was still very busy wrapping up work at his previous employment, so our time was at a minimum. No longer hopeful our home in the Cariboo would sell before Winter, we decided to find a larger home than we at first anticipated, since we would not be buying a home elsewhere for awhile. 

At the end of the first full day of looking, trying to find addresses in a very busy City ( I don't recall Victoria being so large, and busy and vibrant, when last I often visited fifteen years ago! It has grown enormously...) we were both discouraged, tired and hungry...not a great combination.

A lovely cozy nook, where I'll while away rainy afternoons

At that point, my lowest, I think, I didn't care if I ever left the Cariboo. My home there had been updated to the nth degree; why was I trying to go backwards? Ah, me...

We considered paying higher rent. And we considered looking at another rental list...one we had not tried. The consideration about paying more rent did not bother me a great deal, but it was certainly bothersome for Graham.

Had we not had that day of looking at lower priced rentals, he would not have so easily accepted paying more. As tiring as that day was, it had its purpose.

Graham looked at another list, with a higher rent in mind, and almost instantly found our present home.

I looked at the photos on display and knew, deep inside, it was ours, even before the call was made to view the home...

Partial view of the front of The Church House

It felt like home, you see, the photos showed a home so familiar to me I could have been going home to dinner rather than a first viewing. I had enjoyed many dreams previous to this home-finding trip; most of them involved a home much like this one. I'd dreamt of an old red gate with much Shrubbery surrounding it...I had been looking for that old gate for most of the day...

That first viewing left me in awe. The home is a renovated church...I believe it was built in 1916 and moved to its present location in the '70's. It was bought by its present owner around 1996. With pavement right up to its doors, our landlord had to break up all of it before he could begin building his vision.

And what a magical vision it was! So many different Woods make up the exterior and interior I spent many hours, after moving in, trying to identify each section. There are two lovely stained glass windows, one depicting a Sunrise, the other a Sunset. The entry and our loft bedroom are graced with dancing light each Morning when Sun is present.

The Teak Door...

We left the first viewing with Graham saying he wanted to sleep on it and me knowing full well I wouldn't sleep until the papers were signed...

But Graham loved the home just as much as I did and the next morning, papers were signed and the home was ours. When we arrived, we parked our car on the other side of the home...and there, right outside the car window was the 'red gate' that had appeared in my dreams.

It was hanging off its hinges when I first saw it, as it was in my dreams. It has been fixed since and is no longer a gate, but part of the fence, now that we've moved in. It is a red Cedar gate, very like the faded red gate surrounded by Shrubbery which I visited fairly often in dreamtime. 

The second visit cemented the idea of living here even more strongly. I wandered through on my own, loving the feel of this place, where people prayed and celebrated, where children learned ( for a time, the home was a Montessori school) and where music was a prevailing hobby.

...leads to the backyard deck...

Music is ingrained into all the Woodwork which is so prevalent in this home. The piano that was used remains here still, and once in awhile, I'll play Chopsticks. Sometimes, in the deep silence of Night, I imagine I hear children with their voices raised in song...

We went back to the Cariboo tired but satisfied with the home we had rented and ready to face the last hurdles before our move on September 25th.

Again, once our possessions arrived...the ones we decided not to sell at all our sales...I was so busy trying to find where I wanted to place everything I don't think I was aware of anything much the first few days.

I had made a decision, when our move from the Cariboo became real, not to use the computer other than email. It helped enormously...my focus went entirely to our move.

...and one of the back gates.

Although I was not distracted by the computer, I missed my cyber friends more than I can say. I so appreciated the emails I received giving me encouragement and will remember to return the favour if ever anybody else goes through a time like this.

We've even already had overnight visitors! How wonderful it is to live close to family and friends and how lovely it is to know that in a couple of hours I can be in Port Alberni, where my family lives. As a matter of fact, I will be travelling up Island on the weekend, just to look after Graydon, my grandson. Oh, joy!

It is Raining today...buckets of Rain, the kind of Rain which, when I lived on the Island, would have made me cancel appointments. I loved Rain then but not with the appreciation I feel now. After living in a semi-desert environment for five years, I am relishing each huge drop of Water that falls. I can feel its nourishment against my dry skin  and I know each and every Plant on this Peninsula is loving it after the long, warm dry spell we've enjoyed since moving here.

Depiction of Sunrise using Wood...so beautiful to look at in the early morning!

Lucky is one, however, who does not remember how he once loved Rain as he raced through the wet, muddy Puddles five years ago. And he certainly has no appreciation for this funny wet stuff. He is accustomed to Rain in the form of Snow...

I will, strangely enough,  truly miss the extremes of weather in the Cariboo. There is something large and grand in Nature's furious Storms there, where she will leave a silent, sparkling carpet of white, her fury spent; but assigning deep Cold throughout...

Three huge Trees guard our entryway

It was an unforgettable experience, and one I shall cherish. But it is time now, in my daughter's words, to experience the Urban, rather than the Country.

And if this is all a lucid dream? It seems to be a vibrant and welcome one, and if it is lucid, I guess I can choose to live it.

After all, I do believe it is one of the best dreams I've, so far in this life, experienced... 

 
  

Moving with Raven

Time stood still as we waited for confirmation about our relocation. Over and over, I began to write...and over and over, I closed the computer when sitting in one place became too anxiety-producing.

I love the patterns in the bark of the Interior Fir Tree

I've been pacing for a couple of months, now. It's good exercise, at any rate, and does seem to lower tension a bit. And I've realized, during any chaotic period in my life, that I paced through it all. Not that this is a big epiphany or anything; it is only an interesting thought!

I imagine my pacing will accelerate over the coming months. We are moving to Victoria, B.C.; Graham will begin his new job on October 1.  

I'm not sure I quite believe it. Victoria is one of my favourite cities. Never in a million years did I ever believe I would  actually live there. But it appears as if, for the next four or five years at least, that is exactly where I will be.

Poppies everywhere!

This will be as much of a transition for me as moving from Qualicum Beach to the Cariboo. As I write this, traffic sounds and other city sounds have become completely foreign to me...yet in a couple of months, I will have to acclimatize not only to a noisier environment, but also to the change in weather.

Driving the highway into the city of Williams Lake has prepared me for anything. City driving will not bother me, especially since I already am familiar with Victoria, having had relatives there over the years.

Victoria is surrounded by Ocean...the Universe obviously listened carefully to my plea about wanting...no, needing...to live by Ocean and her Beaches. You can believe my first  walk on a Beach will be something to write about...I will have come home.

Our young friend Raven

 

The last couple of months of interminable walks and garden work has allowed me to say goodbye to our home here. Many tears were shed, believe me. I love this home, this place, the Animals...yes, and even the extreme weather. But I will love the memories just as much, perhaps even more, from afar.


We will be so much closer to the family! Day trips are not out of the question...Port Alberni, where family lives, is about two and a half hours from Victoria. It is a small hop, as compared to the vast distances  we traveled in the Cariboo.


And as well, we plan on buying our retirement home/weekend retreat in Port Alberni. I am so excited over traveling up Island to garden in a home I know I will not leave again.

These Poppies will bloom until Frost

There are many unknowns. I try not to trouble myself over them. Our house here will sell, in the time allotted. The garage sale will be organized; movers will be contacted, excess furniture will be sold. All those things, taken one step at a time, will be done, one after another. Worrying over them will not get them done any faster, in fact, it may hinder the whole process.


So say I...


Finding a place to live in Victoria is my main objective, right now. Something inside me needs to know I have a place to go to...to arrive at...to be. It will settle me down. We will rent and there seem to be many, very expensive homes but few in what I consider a reasonable price range.

Delphiniums a little the worse from Wind damage

But then, the last time I rented any home, was way back in the early seventies. Things have certainly changed since then!


An apartment/condo would be ideal for Graham and I, but we have another member of the family to consider. Lucky may not do so well with long hallways and elevators and an inability to go outside at will. And so, hopefully, we will find a house which appeals, yet does not cost an arm and a leg...a daunting prospect!

September, in my mind, has forever been the time of new beginnings. This year, certainly, will be one of the more memorable ones.

I will have time to harvest my garden, to watch the Perennials bloom a final time. Lucky and I have met a Raven who follows us on our morning walks. Having just made his acquaintance...and an odd acquaintance it is!...I want to study him a little more, before I leave.

He has a message. As yet, I haven't deciphered it, although somewhere inside me, I know what it is. It is only a matter of removing the blockages I've put in place, long ago, in order for me to hear...

One morning, he sat here for a long time, contemplating...

In the meantime, Raven appears to be listening to my concerns, inserting the occasional gurgle or squawk, as Lucky checks out the overnight visitors. He flies from Branch to Branch, Tree to Tree, as I walk...bobbing his head at me, cocking his head when I speak. He is a young Raven. I imagine he is as curious about me as I am about him.


I will miss him, as I will miss seeing all the wildlife I have made friends with over the years. I am so eternally grateful to have had the opportunity.

Lilies are smaller than usual this year

A new stage is beginning. There will be much to do before I can see the finish line for this particular stage.

I know more tears will fall, when I leave. A piece of my heart will always reside here in the Cariboo.

It is the way of it...

 

Searching for Answers

The Comedian

When Spring bursts upon the Cariboo, when She really settles in, I can actually watch the Perennials in the garden take great leaps in growth each day. Sun stays out longer during the lengthy Spring days, which keeps the surface of the Earth warmer...so even if the nights are still quite cool, Seedlings and Plants seem to enjoy some protection from Frost.

I have finished the general tidying up required after a long Winter...the branches, leaves and garbage have all been raked and piled. I've seeded the Vegetable garden with Spinach, Mesclun, Lettuce, Chard, Carrots and Radishes. I have had good success with direct sowing here...Plants grow so quickly!

It feels, these days, as if I am on a bullet train traveling faster and faster...destination unknown. I feel rattled...the train is not a smooth ride. Readying our home for the market, even though I am as ready as I'll ever be, is still bittersweet. I keep myself as grounded as I can by working in the garden, touching Boulders, sifting through the sandy Soil...

And by drawing the continual Faces which appear in the early Morning... my familiar Faces of the Night.

Grandfather

I have had many dreams lately which are very different from my usual. These ones seemingly have no conclusion...and what is strange is that I am willing to accept them as such. As if...I am being tutored, taught in these new dreams, given information.

About something...

And in the Morning, I draw the Faces of the Ones who are my teachers. As I go along this dream course...this Ascension 101, perhaps, the Faces change, become stronger, more odd, from the Humanoid viewpoint. But still, all the Faces exude such positive, loving energy...some, I have trouble stopping, I want to continue on and on, drawing with my pen, overdrawing...staying in their wonderful energy for as long as I can.

I remember the relevant parts of the dreams...usually the last part, the part just before I awaken, where I ask a question which I will remember later...a question that feels very important to me.

The Hunter

There have been five dreams in all, up to this point. The first one pointed the way the others would go, I discover, upon reflection.


After seeing the unexplained lights in the Sky during last Summer and Fall, I have become fascinated with these visitors, our Star brothers and sisters. But even taking this fascination into account, I could not have imagined this particular dream into being.


During the dream, I found myself in a large room, having just arrived. It felt as if I had just awoken; I felt heavy and tired. There were others there, and I seemed to be the focus of many sidelong glances, although all tried very hard and politely not to stare.


There was no semblance of lucid dreaming, no observations from on high. I was completely in and part of this dream.

The Guide

The large room wherein I found myself was dark and shadowy, but in no way frightening. As I began to awaken more fully, I noticed someone very close beside me, someone who was directing me.


He led me, as if I were a small child, to the large expanse of window in front of me...

And there...oh! There was the night Sky, but it was like no other I have yet to see. I held my breath, as I stared and stared at the sparkling jewels laid out in front of me. It was immense, the Stars had no end, and each was as brilliant and bright as the last. I found myself staring far out into the Universe...

I felt so good! I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time, as joy flooded through, over and over. It was as if the Universe was laughing with me, as if it loved my reaction to seeing these luminous Stars, which blinked and twinkled before me.

The Healer

The others in the room left me to myself to stare in complete wonderment. I have looked at the Night Sky many, many times...I have yet to see anything remotely like this.


The Sky was a deep, velvety purple, with indigo streaks throughout. Stars were everywhere, so thickly strewn it looked as if they each encroached upon the other. And the light! So strange...light and dark all at once. Was the brightness inherent throughout the Sky coming from the Stars alone? It seemed impossible, yet I saw no other source...


In complete and utter awe, I felt more than saw my guide approach. I must have been told it was time to go, since I found myself backing away from the window, my eyes never leaving the expanse of Stars.


I was told to enter into this small vehicle, which may have been what I arrived in. It felt familiar, and I remembered the white, leathery, comfortable seats. Still, I felt no fear, only sadness that I was leaving.


In a small, earnest voice, I asked my guide..."Will I still see the Stars?"....


I was assured I would.

Master of the Barn Yard

And with this answer, I awoke. For some reason, I felt it was important to look at the time on the digital alarm clock. It was 2:22 AM. The beginning of a new cycle, in numerological terms.

In my last dream, once again I found myself at a desk ( I have had the schoolroom dream numerous times) with my instructor seated across from me.

In my dream, he looked and felt completely human, yet when I awoke, I realized he was vastly different.

In the dream recall, he had a mane of hair running down his back, straight back from his forehead. His face had soft, fine hair covering it, with well defined eyebrows and vaguely feline eyes. I attempted to draw him, as I feel I know this person well, but it was difficult...I did him no justice.

The Instructor

I recall the intensity of our conversation, although I don't remember one word, as yet. But as I untangled myself from the desk chair in preparation for leaving, I asked the important question, as if I were wrapping things up..."So, we are all transitioning, then?"...


After hearing the answer in the affirmative, once again, I awoke. This time, I forgot to notice the time. But I awoke hearing the word Ascension as if someone had just spoken it into my still rather doubtful ear.


The World is in upheaval, to put it mildly. So many indiscretions are being revealed...every day I read about a new invention, more medical breakthroughs, human heroism along with falling governments and some fairly evil craving for power amongst a few people.

 I hear Mother Earth urging us to join her in her own Ascension, of which we are all a part. I feel the intense pressure of the solar flares, which affect me in myriad ways.

The Dreamers

I feel that I am being guided in these dreams. For what, for once I don't know. I am not in control of much these days...the weather does what it wants, governments go awry over the simplest things, I'm not sure where I'll be at this time next year...but I feel peaceful, if one can feel serenity in the midst of a roller-coaster ride.

I am being taught to be an observer, more than a part of the action. This is a little different for me...I am accustomed to wading in with both feet. But I feel I am going somewhere I am not supposed to plan for, to control, to force my outmoded ideas upon.

In the words of John Lennon and Paul McCartney...

And when the night is cloudy there is still a light that shines on me
Shine until tomorrow, let it be
I wake up to the sound of music, Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be 

And that's what I'll do...I'll let it all be.

As the song says...there will be answers...

Warmer Winters

Dreaming of Flowers

Even if the temperatures are still below freezing each night, Snow and Ice have melted completely. Any Snow which arrives now will disappear quickly during the warmer daytime hours.

During the last month, when it seemed Winter would never release his hold on the area, for the first time since we moved here, I felt like a prisoner. Depression hit for a time...I could not enjoy the outdoors in any way because of the Cold. I could not write, had no inclination to do any of my hobbies and projects...even my appetite disappeared.

There have been times in my life where I have felt like this...usually in response to some crisis or other. But this low feeling I have only just released was something new...I felt at odds with everything, even Nature.

It was a long Winter. Were I healthy, I suppose the length of it would not bother me as much, since I would still be able to be active. But the amazing Cold stymied me completely this year...physically and mentally.

Cabbages grow so well here!

The Cold attacked my arthritis, which was further irritated by fibromyalgia. I felt as if I were one round ball of pain, each and every time I braved the weather for a walk with Lucky. It could take hours for the pain caused by the Cold  to go away, yet I felt the need to be outside, to stay connected and grounded to Nature.

But after awhile, that need disappeared, as well, especially when a flu Bug found me. During the infection, there was no more energy then to brave anything...

But now, Spring has come to stay. I cannot say it is as warm here as it was on the Island during our Easter holiday visit, but every day seems a little more temperate. And of course, now, the garden requires my attention.

Working in the garden has healed me many times over the course of my life, and I expect it will do so again.

Change may be in the offing for Graham and I. Our intention is to move back to the Island this year, one way or the other. At the moment, we are contemplating the options we have; nothing is concrete.

I will miss my friends the Mule Deer...

And so, this Spring, my garden will be set to rights with the thought of another gardener working in it next year. Instead of building more gardening beds, I will concentrate on dividing perennials and filling up the beds already in existence. If our house goes on the market this summer, I want it to look good, to look as if it is the easiest thing in the World to turn out a pretty garden in this arid, cold climate.


Gardens are what I look at, when I am buying a house, and I assume, quite wrongly, that others look for the same. When Graham and I were on the Island looking at homes, I cannot remember the houses we looked at, but I can remember their gardens. I am grateful that Graham rarely looks at gardens... the house and the way it is built is his primary focus.

This fellow appears every Spring...I have a multitude of photos of him!

Between the two of us, perhaps we can find a balance between great gardens and properly built homes...my intent is to find a place for sale which has both.


I will miss the Animals. Living here, there is no way to not be part of the wild Animal world. I will miss the sounds of the many, many Birds, the howl of the Wolf and Coyote, the call of the Eagle, Hawk and Raven...and the screech from the Bobcat and Cougar.


A few weeks ago, when dirty Ice and Snow were still compact on much of the driveway, I ventured outside onto the part of the road bed which had cleared. Lucky, of course, had little trouble traversing the icy pathways, and bounded ahead of me.

Chickadees are prolific here...and stay thru the Winter.

He was behind the woodworking shop, out of my sight, when I heard the scuffling in the deep Snow. Lucky began to ferociously bark and howl...but beyond that, I heard a big Cat's indescribable snarl...


I had no way of arriving where Lucky was any quicker than I was already going, desperately calling Lucky with each careful step I took. Lucky, and then Ozzie, the Dog from next door, continued their frenzied barking, so I assumed he hadn't been attacked. As yet.


I've heard the big Cat's cry many times here, but I've not always been sure whether it came from a Cougar or a Bobcat. This time, as close as I was, I could tell it was a Bobcat, but I didn't know where it was. I could not see behind the shop, where Lucky was creating such an extreme ruckus.

Our Raven steals many of Lucky's bones...

I came around the corner of the shop, moving very carefully...not wanting to come face to face with an Animal of this nature. Lucky had his front paws up against a Fir Tree, howling his fool head off. Ozzie also decided to join in, and in no time, neighbourhood dogs from across the valley were united in their outrage against the interloper...the din was incredible.


I looked up. Yes, there he was, staring down at Lucky from his perch on the Tree branch. It's the closest I have ever been to one of these wild Cats...it was frightening and wonderful, all at the same time. I wanted to remain there and study him...but I was not completely sure he would not attack Lucky at any moment.

Look at his huge front paws!!

After calling Lucky's name over and over, finally projecting what I call my ugly voice towards him, he heard me, glanced my way, wavered and then finally came, with the biggest grin on his face I've ever seen.

I grabbed his collar, and made my way back to the house over the Ice, my neck prickling all the while. I could feel those beautiful feline eyes on me, even if I didn't think he could still see me for the shop...


Lucky was so proud of himself. I cannot begin to tell you.

My heart pounding, we made it into the house. I waited a moment or two, until I heard Ozzie stop barking, and then I let Lucky out into our fenced area. By then, I felt our visitor had left his perch.  Our Lucky, though, lay on the deck all day, watching that particular Tree...reliving his moment of glory when he vanquished a big Cat.

What is interesting and synchronistic, since I bemoaned the fact I did not have my camera with me quite vociferously, is the next day a co-worker of Graham's  was driving on the highway just below our place when he saw two Bobcats, one sitting on a concrete highway barrier...and was able to snap a photo of him, which he has graciously allowed me to use.

I have no doubt it is the same one, even if I did not get a good, long look at him. There are no co-incidences, after all. And I've heard since, during mating season, Bobcats will travel in two's...

Where did that big Cat go?

I wonder where his mate was, while I stood staring at him? 


I think our Dog was called Lucky for a reason...


I will miss these kinds of encounters. I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to live here and will miss it tremendously...the Cold and Winter notwithstanding.


During my time of introspection, when depression knocked softly, I realized the large distances involved in travelling back to where I consider it to be home were becoming more and more difficult to do, as the years go by.


Realizing and accepting my limitations, when I am not accustomed to having to take those into consideration with respect to where I live, made me re-evaluate. I'm taking my age and have come to an understanding I want to live the rest of my time closer to family and more accessible medical care. 

And warmer Winters.


Photo of Bobcat courtesy of Roger Hollander...Thanks, Roger!