Spring, Sunshine and Serenity

I am unaccustomed to having my time taken up with something other than home work...cleaning and cooking, writing and gardening. I have been busy with volunteering for Hospice this week, and the work I do around the home has shuffled its way to the back of the line.

And Spring has arrived in the Cariboo.  Warm days and nights have suddenly decided to visit for awhile; there will still be nights, no doubt, where Frost might rim the hardy, perennial plants which are beginning to show through the soil.

I have begun to utilize the little greenhouse Graham built last Spring.  It was built too late, really, to start seedlings and tubers and bulbs then.  But this year, I have it there...all ready in which to plant.

Its warm inside my little greenhouse.  During the days when Sun shines, but a cold Wind blows, it is beyond words wonderful. It provides a buffer from Wind, which can wreak havoc on my body. And it has the unique greenhouse scent...that wet earth and new greenery smell.

Yesterday, on the way home from another volunteering job, I stopped at the nursery.  It sounds like that might be a great, fun thing...but it's always a bad idea for my finances when I stop at a nursery in early Spring.


I don't have the huge garden I once had on the Coast; the cold and dry conditions here take care of any great ideas I might be nurturing about large gardens. Another drawback is the absence of good Soil.

And so, with the inability of the thin Soil which covers the Rocks and Boulders in this place to sustain anything other than Rocks and Pebbles, I do a lot of gardening in containers and built-up beds.


With the greenhouse, instead of waiting until night time temperatures correspond with plants and planting, I can start my containers earlier, with little plant plugs. These plugs are much cheaper, I tell myself as I stand at the cashier's counter, than if I'd had to wait for more clement weather. Because by that time, all that would be left in the nursery would be the larger, more expensive plants.

Cheaper or not, I still plunked down a fair bit of cash, for these tiny baby plants.

I picked out heavenly, deep blue Petunias, white Petunias, red Geraniums, minuscule filler plants like Bacopa and Alyssum, Osteospermum and Calibrachoa. My favourite filler plant is the ethereal Diamond Frost Euphorbia, which is rather new.  It shines with an unbelievable, Snow-flake-like glow in the early evening. And I could not forget white Pansies...the small plants grow enormous here, all Summer long.


For the vegetable garden, I bought tiny Tomato plants, Walla Walla onion sets (even though they won't be the same in taste and texture as the onions which actually grow in Walla Walla), Strawberry plants, Red Cabbage, Squash and Kale. I planted Lettuce and Mesclun seeds about two weeks ago...and I discovered they decided to pop up through the soil just yesterday.

I want to grow Carrots.  The Carrots which grow here are unbelievable for the crunch, texture and sweet taste. It must have something to do with the climate, because I have not tasted Carrots quite like the ones which grow in the Cariboo. But the Carrots will be seeded directly into the built-up ground, as will Cucumbers, Beets, Peas and Sunflowers.


Last year I planted Raspberries, Rhubarb and a Gooseberry bush.  All are doing very well. The Apple tree Graham dug in through Stony Soil looks to be full of blossoms...my fingers are crossed that we will not experience a deep Frost, which will surely decimate those tender pink flowers.


I plan to buy a Weeping Willow this year. It will be planted on the East side, between the house and the new Woodworking shop Graham just built last year.  It will give shade to the deck during those hot, still afternoons we experience in the Summer. I identify strongly with the Weeping Willow...it bends but rarely breaks.


And even if I bought the majority of the plants required for the pots and built-up beds...there will yet be visits to the nursery, possibly each one after a volunteering visit. Nurseries calm me...there is great peace to be found wandering the aisles, smelling the good, earthy, humid scent which is so identifiable.


I still intend to buy Snapdragons, Echinacea, and Sedums. A couple of weeks ago, I bought a supply of different Grasses, mostly Carex...all do well here, once established.

I am accustomed to having an Herb garden. I don't have one as yet...all of my Herbs are planted here and there throughout the Flower gardens. But this year, Graham has plans to build another garden bed...and it will be large enough for all my Herbs to be transplanted into it. Some Herbs will overwinter, while others must be treated as annuals in this harsh climate.


My mouth is watering already at the thought of fresh Basil, Oregano, Thyme, Lemon Balm and Dill. Parsley is already planted, has come up well, along with Chervil, which has seeded itself. I am going to try to grow Lemon Grass...a first for me.


I intend to be in the greenhouse all weekend, planting the Window boxes in order for them to be ready and full for their debut outside. Perhaps there will also be time for seeding.


And in so doing, I will find strong serenity...even if laundry has piled up and the bathrooms need cleaning. Those jobs will wait.


They must wait, because my itchy, green fingers need to feel granular, moist Soil, Water and  tender baby seedlings.


And my mind, body and soul require the serenity I will surely find in the little greenhouse...

A Scent of Pineapple

I struck up a conversation with a woman as we were waiting in the Dentist's office the other day. As is common, we began by discussing the weather.

The weather here in the Cariboo has felt a little strange, lately. In October, there were occurrences of Arctic Air, which dropped our temperatures well into the minus category. We had Snow, which I would have enjoyed much more, had I known it was only going to last a day. Then the Rains came, in fits and starts, along with much warmer and Sun-filled weather.

The lady shook her head, as we talked about the anomalies we were experiencing. She is keen on snowmobiling and Ice fishing; she felt with the lack of cold weather, perhaps her hobbies would not be available this year.

She said...What will I do during the long Winter, if there is no Snow or Cold, to freeze the Lakes?

Quite honestly, I did not know how to reply to her comment. A Winter without Snow is right up my alley...I would be ecstatic if this were to occur!

We discussed the Coast, from where I have recently moved. I told her a Winter without Snow was quite common there, and the Snow which did fall rarely lasted long, although last year the Coast received an Arctic blast, which included much Snow. I told her, as well, that the warmer temperatures we have enjoyed lately remind me so much of Fall days on the Coast, where I would be planting bulbs and enjoying the Fall colour.

Of course, she knew all this, as she had cousins who had moved South to Vancouver Island. And she told me they would call and tell her they were mowing their lawns as early as February. She would tell them, in return, of the beautiful, blue, sunny days here in the Cariboo, where she could ride her snowmobile for miles and miles, without fear of Rain. But, she reiterated, she couldn't do this without Snow...

Later, sitting in the dentist's chair, I mused about our differences, a born and bred Cariboo resident and me...an Island girl.

To me, there is no doubt both places are beyond beautiful. Mother Nature has outdone herself in the province of BC. She has carved and smoothed Valleys and Mountains, Rivers, and Lakes. She has molded the beaches and craggy cliffs for the Pacific Ocean, which laps all along the shore. She has built high, semi-arid plains and plateaus...there is a place in the Chilcotin which I swear cracks my heart a little, each time I visit.

In so doing, she has built a Land which has a place to please everyone's wishes and desires, as she honours our differences.

I think about how I have recently felt I am beginning to know and understand the Cariboo and her people. I have lived here almost two years; during that time I have gained a little knowledge of the Land and its weather.

I consider...would I really understand a Winter here without Snow and the attendant Cold? It would feel strange. This is not the Cariboo way, it is the Island way. Some people who have lived here all their lives have built their livelihoods around Winter and his playground.

While I...I have built my life around green gardens and walks along a wind-swept beach, with scudding black clouds in the distance, promising Rain. On the Coast, there is always the promise of Rain...

So, of course, Rain and the soft, southerly Wind is completely known and welcomed by me. It is what I hanker for; sometimes I will go out onto the deck to fully embrace the lashings of Water thrown at me by that gracious South Wind, as she takes me back to the beaches of the Island.

At the same time, I have learned to love the extremes I experience in the Cariboo. I feel as if the inhabitants here are as attuned to the Land as I am. People here, it seems to me, have learned to listen, gaining knowledge and therefore, power over the extremes. They know each Season well. They know what to expect.

And through innocuous conversations such as this one and others, I am learning to accept, if not exactly embrace, the length, breadth and Cold of the Winter Season.

But. As I told the lady in the dentist's office, right now, today, I am enjoying unseasonably warm, lovely weather.

And...right now, today, I am going for a walk outside, to sniff out the scent of Pineapple on the breeze.

Winter will arrive soon enough.

Boulders, Weeds and...Greenhouses

It is difficult to believe May is almost over. For the first half of the month, the weather was capricious...Snow and Hail fell, the temperatures remained cold and Frost each morning was a given. I continued with Spring chores, regardless of the weather, because I could no longer stay housebound.  If it was cold, I wore heavy sweaters and gloves, until the afternoon when Sun allowed me to shed layers of clothing.

But I believe the days of Frost and Snow and Hail are over for a few months.  We have had days of warm weather, with night temperatures going no lower than 3C. My hanging baskets are out and I have planted all the window boxes...with red Geraniums and deep blue Petunias.


Now there's a flower...Petunias and I were never all that friendly when I lived on the Coast...perhaps because I could never find a spot where it would not be rained upon. But here, with the dry climate a bane for other plants, the Petunia shines.  Each small plant becomes a flowering mountain of colour which sends out a delightful perfume, with very little work on my part.

Those are the kinds of plants I really love...the ones which take over their spaces and travel far, sending their stems into unknown territory. With a large piece of property on which to garden, a plant like this can cut down on costs considerably.


There was no garden here when we arrived; I can certainly understand why.  Weather is against us gardeners here; if we are not on top of our game when Spring arrives, it will be over and we will be in the heat of Summer. Spring in the Cariboo seems to me to be a very short season.

And our Well is not the largest...yesterday I tried to water in Grass seed I had spread in grassless areas. I also overseeded what passes for a lawn, which was damaged by the layer of Winter Snow. Very quickly, it seemed to me, I reached the lower section of the Well.

With very little Water in the Well left over for gardening, one must be creative.  I save the little amounts of Rain, which can really add up, in a barrel by a downspout. I use leftover herbal teas to water the new baby plants. Water in which I wash vegetables is sprinkled over the newly planted beds. Any water which can be used is...

But this gardener is determined, as most true gardeners are. I read labels on new plants carefully, checking the zone and drought tolerance of each plant. I try and buy the hogs...the ones which leap over boundaries with great glee, so that large areas are covered. I do not give in to the beautiful plants who beckon to me in the nurseries...the ones who will require coddling and much precious Water, even as I admire their lush greenery.


Instead, Sedums, Poppies, Daisies, Sunflowers, Asters and Zinnias find their way into my cart. There are shady spots, so my old friend Hosta finds homes here and there. Cold and drought tolerant Roses are planted along the drive. Black Elder grows well here, so a few shrubs dot our garden, where we can enjoy the pink and white blossoms. And of course, many, many Lilacs, who love the climate here much better than in any other area I have ever lived.



It seems a little strange, when I live in a Forest, that I hankered for Trees.  But I wanted a few deciduous Trees, just for the unearthly, beautifully tender, green leaves which arrive in Spring. I picked a purple Crabapple, a Battleford Apple, a Tartarian Maple, a Mountain Ash, and a Weeping Pea. All have fiery Autumn colour, which will glow against the gold of the Aspens dressed in full Fall finery.


The challenge here will be to find a spot to plant these Trees which is not full of Boulders, as we have very stubborn stony land. Determination to the fore, once again.

Even Graham has been bitten by the Spring bug.  Out of nowhere, with scrap lumber, he decided to build a greenhouse...and did it in one weekend. There must have been some divine intervention, since Graham as well seems a little boggled by how quickly it was built, with no forethought of any kind. The greenhouse went up beautifully; close to the house, it will give me at least a month more in Spring and Fall to harvest.


And so, tomatoes and cucumbers will grow in warmth and security. No longer will I have to pray and wait for the hard, green tomatoes to ripen, with frost in the forecast. I overheard a lady at a nursery who was buying a few flowering plants.  She said...These plants are just for the outside; the plants in the greenhouse are for my sanity.


She's right.

I, however, have no experience with greenhouses.  If anyone has any hints, I would very much like to hear them.



If I still lived on the Coast, all this planting and clearing and building would have been done months ago. But I am only beginning to garden here and May is almost over. I hear hammering and machinery in the distance, as my neighbours also take advantage of a fleeting Spring to do work required, before the awesome heat of Summer arrives.

The sense of urgency, floating here on the Wind, is strong.

So with this in mind and joy in my heart, I am out in the garden, planting the new and greeting the old. 

Every day, regardless of the weather. 

Lovely Feelings in the Air!

Even though we are in the grip of an Arctic front, there is a special feel to the Air.  It is very, very cold and clear, with temperatures dipping to -30C...but you know what? I can hear Birds singing during the afternoon, and the wild Animals who call our place their home are on the move.

I see Deer, fully pregnant, wandering along with last year's offspring, one who is extremely curious about this home, where there is a deck with bars and railings.  And since we shovel Snow off the deck, of course there is only a little of the white stuff remaining on it.  This young Deer couldn't figure it out, so he/she thought it might be interesting to climb onto the deck to check it out.

He found the stairs, on the side where they are all covered with Snow.  I had taken the photos displayed here a little earlier, but was busy with something else at the time he tried this.


I heard a crash.  The Dogs, of course, went berserk, as you can imagine. Looking out of one of the windows which make up the South facing part of our home, I saw this young Deer spread-eagled on the icy part of the Deck.  I missed that photo by only a few moments, as I ran to find my camera...he was gone in what seemed like seconds, back down the stairs to find Mama.


Mama was browsing outside the fence.  I could imagine her thoughts as she watched her youngster leaping over the fence to join her.  I could imagine just what she thought of her foolish youngster who could not contain his curiosity.  Her thoughts would have been similar to all Mothers, Animal or Human, who cannot understand why their young would do something so very silly, endangering themselves in this manner.


Mama had been so careful with this one child.  She would hide him amongst the Trees, warning him to stand completely still. It was difficult to make him out when she did this, as he blended in completely.  His legs looked exactly like the branches of the bushes which surrounded him. 


But he was younger then, and still listened to his wise Mama.  But as the days went on, I noticed he was becoming a little more rebellious. Why was Mama browsing the fence line, eating the Rose hips which grew along the fence...without him?  Nothing happened to her, so why all the warnings?


Does this sound familiar to all those who try and try to bring up their children with safety, responsibility and warnings?


There are other Animals, not the least of which are the Predators, who follow Deer on their Spring march.  I have not been quick enough to take photos, sometimes becoming so involved in the watching. 


There is Wolf who wanders the fence line, stopping every so often to see if I'm still watching. He'll sometimes sit at one of the gates; it is as if he is projecting his thoughts to me.  Our Dogs are very quiet when he visits, pressing very close to my side. This, in itself, is very unusual for these two.  But the Dogs seem to understand that here is one Animal who is King in these parts.


Although I have not seen him, there is also Cougar, who makes his presence known by his screech, sounding so much like a human baby screaming...it quite sends chills down my spine every time I hear it.


Fox paid a visit, not long ago.  It is difficult for me to believe in the wildness of these creatures, and I can understand people who believe the opposite.  He is the funniest creature, leaping about much like Cats will. He mesmerizes me, which is just what he is doing to his prey at the moment...they don't know what this seemingly foolish Animal is doing, until it is too late and they become dinner.


And of course, there are the Coyotes who wake me with their racket after a kill.  It is celebratory...age old songs sung with anticipation of their fresh meal.


Moose wander through, leaping the fence with ease to find the Rose hips which Deer have left.  I have heard them in the evenings, but have only seen their droppings and their tracks, which are huge and unmistakable. I hear them snuffling and blowing Snow from their noses.  Again, the Dogs press close to me when these huge Animals appear under cover of the dark night.



There are many Owls, with wide spread wings. They sit so silently on the branches of the Trees, until they spot their prey. Without a sound, they pounce on whichever unfortunate creature happens by. Our Squirrel population is becoming much smaller...they are easy pickings as they jump and run over the Snow-covered fields.

Hawks are numerous, but Eagle has only appeared once or twice, even though there are many in the Summer.


Living here is a photographer's dream, if only this photographer had her camera linked to her body...


And so, even when the North Wind blows, letting us all know Old Man Winter hasn't loosened his grip quite yet, I know without a doubt that he is only an old geezer who doesn't want to let go.


His time here is on the wane and he must make way for the tender, loving arms of Lady Spring, and the lovely feelings of renewal she projects to the Human and Animal populations.


There is no better way to predict her arrival than to tune in to the Animals who appear.


And the next time Coyote sings his joyous song...I might just join in!

Landscaping Dreams

On the Coast, February had touches...days where Spring did not seem far off.  Depending on microclimates in my garden, there would be Shrubs growing fat buds, bulbs of all kinds would have their strap-like Leaves reaching for the Sun, and  Moss in my lawn would have become thick, showing his unearthly, glowing green face. 

When I moved here to the Central Northern Interior, it was at the end of February.  Having come from the Coast, in my ignorance I assumed Spring could not be far off here, as well.

But when we moved into our home at the end of March, Snow was still very prevalent here. Okay, I thought, maybe a month longer, and I would be able to plant.

Snow melt did not occur until the middle of May.

With this in mind, I have decided to prepare for my landscaping project, which last year had me completely overwhelmed, long before the time comes to plant. On paper...and in dream time.


And this is because, last year when Spring finally arrived in the Cariboo, she really arrived. With huge fanfare, Shrubs and Trees and small perennial Flowers burst into leaf and bloom, within days of each other. Suddenly, the places where I had planned garden beds were covered in Flora, no longer visible.


I have learned.  I know, now, to plant bulbs ( I have yet to find any which Squirrels will not...pardon me...squirrel away) under coniferous Trees. Snow does not build up there, and already brown, naked Soil is showing up under various areas.


This Winter has also taught me how important places where Snow can be built up, after ploughing, are...without worrying about any plants that may lie there.


Suddenly, I imagine how, as a child, I would have built enormous Snow caves in those mounds. I imagine how I would have travelled to different spaces and Worlds, had I tunnelled a huge crater in the icy Snow...


But I digress. Following my imagination is to travel to distant lands and different times...it is very easy to get lost.


Back to my landscape plans.


Since our home is situated somewhat oddly, on this hilly, rocky land, with a Gravel driveway just a few feet from the front entrance, I have decided to use decorative Gravel to delineate the front garden areas.  Instead of my usual jumble of perennial plants, I will plant carefully chosen Trees and Shrubs which will yet stand tall above three feet of Snow.


I am aiming for a still, Zen like quality...a garden which will showcase, here and there, the singular beauty of a Tree or Bush, its Bark, Leaves and Flowers.


It is the Gravel which decided me to take this hugely unusual approach (for me) to gardening.  Before the Snow bed is built up on the driveway, much gravel will be moved under the Snow plough, to places in which it shouldn't be. 


If I can't beat it, I have decided I may as well join with the Gravel already here.


Logs which were cut last year will be used around each well-chosen specimen, with perhaps a chair or bench placed here and there.

And this year, as well, I want to build steps into the Draw off the side of the driveway, which will extend our front garden considerably. Down in the deep Draw is where the best soil lies...and there is where I will go wild with shade-loving, leafy perennials...perhaps even my first love, the Fern.


It seems to me much of my time in the garden this year will be spent building...I hope to have time to tend new plantings as well.


As there is no sited vegetable bed, I intend to build some raised beds below where the greenhouse is slated to be. Building the woodworking shop and the greenhouse will once again change the landscape, with many further gardening options which will appear.


To satisfy my yearning for the feel of soil in my hands, I  bought Seeds. Many, many Seeds...Poppies, Sweet Peas and Sunflowers, along with Herbs...Dill, Parsley, Thyme, Borage and Chamomile...all, and more, are on the agenda for seeding.


Graham has rigged a contraption which holds a grow light...and one of the guest bedrooms will be turned into an indoor greenhouse.


This year, I plan to be prepared for Spring's sudden and so very welcome arrival.  There are many Windows along the back of our home, bringing light and Sunshine for the baby plants, along with the greening bedroom.  I am lucky in that the deck faces South and runs along the entire length of the back. If I am vigilant, when temperatures are suitable, I can place each flat of seeds on the deck during the daytime.

It is the night temperatures which will harm them. I must remember to bring the small, tender seedlings into the warmth of the house...something so important, yet there have been times when I have forgotten.

Further along in this landscaping dream, I want to build a set of stairs from the back deck to the flatter land below and beyond. I want to plant Arabis, Thrift, Achillea and Sunflowers on the bank, with small Fruit-bearing Trees and Shrubs and weepy Trees who will draw their Leaves gently amongst the Boulders already there.

And why stop here? I want to extend the fence to take in an area where Birch is Queen. This is a magical place! It is a riot of Wildflowers...Columbine, Lilies, Daisys and more dot the very fertile Soil here. In high Summer, I imagine the whisper of the Aspen and Birch Leaves high above as Wind stirs their senses, when I wander the paths I've made beneath them.

Paths which will lead to secret, unknown places...a resting spot becoming apparent around a turn or detour here and there.

In my dream, I turn the rather utilitarian steel gate at the far end of the fence into a charming trellised affair, with Rose and Clematis clambering about willy-nilly, gleefully and easily escaping the browsing jaws of Deer...

I am eager to prune the wild Roses, Saskatoon bushes, and Willows who live everywhere along the fence lines. In order to save a fairly large Willow from browsers , we have fenced her in. And although there have been plenty of tracks, Moose has decided it is too much trouble to jump the fence for this one meal.

In my landscaping dream, I have no pain.  In the dream, I have only eagerness to begin to garden, only enthusiasm and ardour to work hard, in the imagined Sun and sultry Spring breezes which tug at my hair.

It is a brilliant way in which to spend a Winter's afternoon! 

Destiny and Dreams

I am beginning to feel like a character living in a distant, Wintry Forest, those which are depicted so well in the Grimm's Brother's fairy tales.

Or perhaps, the countryside in Russia shown in Dr. Zhivago is also descriptive of where I live. Parts of it were filmed in Canada, after all.


Do you remember the scene where Zhivago says goodbye to Lara?  Those fields through which the horse drawn wagon takes Lara...away from Dr. Zhivago...those fields are very reminiscent of the vast, snow blanketed land in the Cariboo.


I wept rivers...torrents of tears...during that scene.

As a very impressionable fourteen year old when Dr. Zhivago aired; as a child who read Grimm's tales, inhaling descriptions of the sometimes terrifying  landscape in each story...I pledged then, so many years ago, to live in a similar area.


I pledged, in my romantic adolescent mind, to one day live in a harsh climate, believing, in a very imaginative way, that this was the one of the ways I could face the demons of life.


I had forgotten my youthful pledge, but the Universe sent a message this morning.  Lara's Theme was running through my head, even before I opened my eyes.

This morning, the temperature read -24C. With a North West Wind, it was not long before the inside of my nose became rimmed with frost... Cold is cold, as Goatman's brother says, but I'm here to tell you whatever one thinks is cold...it can get much colder.


But with the words from Lara's theme by Paul Francis Webster..." Somewhere, my love, there will be songs to sing, although the Snow covers the hopes of Spring. Somewhere, a hill blossoms in green and gold, and there are dreams, all that your heart can hold..." racing through my mind, during the morning chores, I remembered my long ago pledge.


With a cup of coffee steaming in my hand, I looked out at the awesome, silent Snow-covered landscape. And I remembered the dreams I had, so many, of living in a place just like here, right where I am.  How amazing.


I already understand, deep in my gut, I am here, in the Cariboo, to lay my inner demons to rest.  There have been numerous messages telling me so; I have largely ignored them. I fill my time, instead, with renos and landscaping, needleworking (an old hobby, becoming new again), and any other thing I can find to hide from what my soul is trying to bring to the forefront.


There are no signs of Spring here; there are no hills blossoming in greens and golds as yet, but this doesn't mean they are not there. The longer I live here, the more I understand about trusting something I cannot, as yet, visualize. The seeds of healing myself are only beginning to germinate.

When the time is right, they will burst into bloom...


In the meantime, I am living where, from earliest memories, I have visualized myself to be. It is proof to me how powerful visualizations are...especially if they have been held close for a lifetime.


Quite suddenly, I find myself in the place of my dreams.  And just because the reality is somewhat different from adolescent imaginings, just because the cold is harsh and Winter is long, does not mean Spring will not arrive.

It does not mean hope is lost.


The Universe doesn't make mistakes. I am here to find some thing of which I am not aware, perhaps.



Patience...ahhh, that old Lady Patience...is the key.

Seedlings

Everywhere I look these early days of Spring, there are seeds. Seeds that are breaking through the crust of Winter soil, seeing their first light of Day and greening Mother Earth bring delight to my Soul.

The weather may not be inviting; in fact, this morning, Seagulls wheeled above the house in huge numbers, signifying another Storm...

But Nature is not to be denied. She has a set pattern, a well-oiled Wheel that continues to turn. And so, Spring may be delayed a bit, as those Seedlings try to find the warmth that has yet to be given them, but She always arrives.

And the plants mostly adapt to aberrant weather. Some may continue to sleep, under their crusty blanket. Others chance it, pushing their way through, only to stall when there is no Sunlight and warmth. Others really push the envelope at times, only to die when their tender growth is nipped by a Frost they cannot withstand...

This particular Spring, I feel an embryo of change growing within myself. It is not time to break through the heavy Winter crust that I have covered it with. But it is beginning its movement. I am trying to make its environment as inviting as I can, when it finally breaks through.

I don't know what kind of Seed it is. Will it bear fruit? Or blossom into a beautiful nimbus of colour? Will it take years to mature?

There is anticipation, for I have ideas about the Seed's identity, only a vague, half-formed one, however. There are too many variables in my life, too many to pick and choose, too many cloudy, cold days that are not inviting just yet.

I must wait, emulating the wiser Seedlings.

But there are smaller Seeds, too. A new grandchild, date of arrival any day now, will pop through the soil covering my heart, carving out a new niche for roots of love to grow. There is a new Seed of respect for my mother's courage, as she wanders a well-worn path. Small germs of Seeds yet to emerge proliferate, within the deepest parts of me.

I catch a glimpse of the results, sometimes, when I meditate. Any one of those new germs of verdant adult plants would indeed be wondrous!

But, as any gardener knows, the Soil must be prepared first. There cannot be too many stones in the dirt, which would impede the hairlike strands of roots of the Seedling. The Soil must be kept moist, for the Seeds to emerge from the crust that covers their hearts.

Care must be taken that too many Seedlings don't emerge at once. It would make them all weak and spindly for lack of nutrients. It is necessary to thin and weed out what doesn't serve...

A difficult thing, sometimes, for a small germ of an idea, which, with wisdom and acceptance, one finally realizes will not grow to healthy heights, as yet.

But there is only so much room for roots to grow, only so much time in a day.

I ask my guides for help in giving me the wisdom to grow only the strongest Seeds, the Seeds that will do well.

I ask, also, that those other Seeds will wait for germination, until I have prepared the way...

And I ask for patience in accepting there is a mysterious pattern at work in life. I understand that there is an intelligent and orderly plan behind seemingly random changes.

I understand Spring and her well-oiled turning of the Wheel, on her own Time.

My Seedlings will grow, with love and gentle care and patience...in Creator's time.

Construction

The neighbourhood thrums with activity these days. With daylight savings time coinciding with what one might presume to be better weather, the sounds of hammers, lawn mowers, woodpeckers seeking their territory, and the whine of saws and machinery gives a different beat to the day.

It was odd...time changes usually bother me no end. But this one passed with nary a whimper from me...in fact, it seems as if I might have finally understood what living in the timeless manner I strive for is all about.

Better weather?...Well, our March weather is quintessential early Spring...warm, misty rain one day, cold, howling hurricane force winds the next, bringing along a clear and dry warm day...and so it goes.

But time marches on, no matter what the weather is like...Birds are busy scurrying for soft pieces of dog hair with which to line their nests. Their busy chirping, mating calls, and territorial fights almost drown out the sound of saws from the next door lot, where there is a new house being built.

Woodpecker drums on any surface he can find, marking his place in the Universe. Unfortunately, our Woodpecker drums mostly on metal surfaces. And the resultant noise of his incessant drumming on the metal flashing around our chimney is driving me slightly off kilter. And if I feel that way, can you imagine how Woodpecker must be feeling? Headachey, to say the least.

Too, I will have to get used to big concrete trucks, delivery trucks and vans, trades and construction workers arriving next door on a constant basis...driving the dogs to distraction.

Both of them are so tired at the end of the day that they are hardly interested in waking up to eat their dinner. It is extremely stressful, they tell me, to keep tabs on the comings and goings of all these strange people, who are doing who knows what right next door!

But this afternoon a part of the panel of our fence separating the two properties fell over, the result of an altercation with the Excavator. I wasn't even aware of it, until I saw Lucky casually sauntering towards the opening. He was using his investigative body movements...tail straight up, ears alert, not drawing any attention to himself, moving slowly. Something's always up when Lucky looks like this!

Ahhh...the doorway to freedom!

And not only that. Other dogs and cats can get in, as well. Well, the excitement was not to be borne! And, without much surprise on my part, there was not a construction worker in sight, they having all decamped for parts unknown, before the fence fell.

It was their machinery which did in the fence, ergo...they should fix it, by all accounts. The workers will return at some point. Hopefully, they understand the good neighbour policy!

So here we sit, the dogs and I. My plans to join in with all the busy behavior of Spring by wheeling barrows full of mulch to garden beds have come to nought. Until either I or someone more knowledgeable than I when it comes to building fences, although I'm not averse to trying, comes along, the dogs are banished inside the house.

I can't bear to leave them in, when they can see me working outside. There would be many tears shed. And Nate has a way of holding sadness in his eyes that can tear me apart. Lucky would howl the house down.

The best laid plans...

Normally, plans that are thwarted make me jumpy and uneasy and scattered. I started out that way, this afternoon when I couldn't have my gardening fix. But the Universe keeps throwing situations at me where I beat my head against an immovable wall. It's time to learn to shrug my shoulders and let things go a little more.

I find myself railing against circumstances which cannot change. I find myself asking for the Wisdom, Courage and Serenity more and more these days, when not so long ago, I was working and using the Serenity Prayer before the Wall showed up.

It was a small lesson, but one which I heard loud and clear. It is too draining to fight situations which just aren't going well. Energy flows away from me when, after trying this and that and the other thing, a situation is still not resolved.

At some point, I have to recognize where to stop. And usually, I am good at this, before my body tells me, in no uncertain terms.

But, just as the builders next door, just as the birds and bees and flora and fauna are...I am constructing a bridge to further enlightenment in the school of life. Just as the builders work with unforeseen circumstances, so is my bridge halted, at times.

And so, this time, when the Wall showed up...I took a nap.

Construction can wait.