Merry Christmas!

This is not my favourite time of year. It is a season of so much stuff! Stuff to remember... dates to circle, dinners to plan, shopping to do, music to listen to. It assaults my senses, making me feel easily rattled and off balance. And this year is an easy celebration...I've already done it! A Different Christmas
But on the hour, in the town I live in, the Town Hall chimes out a Christmas carol. The chimes seem to have been made for me...with regularity they remind me there is another reason to celebrate Christmas. A reason behind all the hype and anxiety of the Season.

The chimes catch my heart, blocking my throat. The music floats on the air like a wisp of smoke, sometimes gathering and growing and sometimes fading away with the breeze. The message always brings me back from any negative pool I happen to have sunk into. It is as if my guides send an hourly reminder.

And my guides send other seasonal helpers...yesterday a little girl who, in the summer, had thrown a corn cob at my head (over the fence, too! she's only about 7 or 8...she has a real arm!) gave me a smile and a Merry Christmas! The little altercation we had seems to have withered away.

Then there are the Christmas cards that arrive so unexpectedly from very old friends I thought were lost. There are the emails from the kids in Mexico, assuring us of their safety and wishing us a Merry Christmas! And there are the spiritual visitors in my dreams, who wish me Merry Christmas! by their mere presence in the dream, leaving me with such a feeling of well-being upon awakening.

Come to think of it, everybody says Merry Christmas! Strangers who might have mumbled a hello any other season greet you with a smile and...you guessed it...Merry Christmas! And those smiles send out rays of joy and positive energy. Rays that are sent out into the Universe, dispelling the dark, negative bodies of energy that can gather in ever growing clumps.

It is so easy to say, as I did in the beginning of this post, that this is not my favourite season. But maybe I should rethink that. The words "Merry Christmas!" automatically make me smile. Try saying these words without a smile or a joyous inflection. We light up the dark when we say those words.

I said at the beginning of this piece that this season is full of too much stuff. I take that back...there can never be too much joy and too many smiles. There can never be too much positive energy. And when I started writing, my mood was less than positive. It's wonderful how my guides taught me a lesson, right here and now.

So here is as much joy, peace and well-being as I can muster as I say to you all, with a big heartfelt smile, "MERRY CHRISTMAS!"

The Hidden Closet

It wasn't until I took a Feng Shui course and tried to draw a floor plan for our house that I discovered the walls didn't match up. Of course, when we found the area that for no good reason we could see was closed in, the first thing I wanted to do was poke a hole into the wall. I didn't, of course...the look on Gray's face when I suggested such a thing deterred any urge I may have had in that direction.

So I figured when the time was right, we could create a closet...much needed in a house that has virtually very few. And tried to forget about it.

But visions of gold bullion stashed in a boarded up closet, or perhaps a box full of paper money, or even a body...at the very least a box full of letters and pictures...plagued this writer's imagination, and the balance meter notwithstanding, the stories I was coming up with were becoming more and more lurid. So my attempt at forgetting about the closed up space were haphazard, at best.

And it turns out Gray wasn't totally forgetting about it, either. He suggested, as a kind of by the way, perhaps we could cut a very neat hole into the gyproc. This led to a few excited moments where I forgot the mundane life, and was transported into a completely different reality. I had to clamp down hard when my emotional body spun totally out of control, trying (with difficulty) to let the mental body's logic and clear thinking have some say in all this.

But that's Gray's job. I will enjoy the flights of fancy that can overcome me at times of adventure like this hidden closet. And so, I held my breath, as Gray cut easily through the wall.

As he cut, my guides reminded me to protect and shield myself. I had a fleeting moment to do so, as he took out the board and insulation. Neither Gray nor I felt any bad energy of any sort, as we both peered, one at a time, into the hole. Shining the flashlight up and around, we noticed the interior of this space was a completely finished closet. Right down to the raised tiled floor. Painted and shelved and finished. In a house with only one closet.

It was empty. We puzzled about it a bit, trying to imagine why this closet had been closed off. Typically, Gray's logic led him to thinking about possible construction problems, while I imagined a small child being so frightened of the closet his parents had to close it off, thereby depriving future occupants of much needed space. Gray put the board back in place, until we further dismantle the wall, and I mulled over unanswerable questions.

During the next few days, I noticed a feeling of sadness hovering over the area in this room. On the Winter Solstice, I smudged the area thoroughly, invoking the help of my guides and allies. I felt a wonderful rush of energy course through my body as I did this.

In this old house we are trying to bring back to its former beauty lie many secrets. And as we uncover more of these secrets, perhaps we are releasing trapped energy, good and bad, stored throughout these many years. I certainly felt a release the following day, described in Messages From Beyond cont'd., where many signs from the Creator were presented to me.

Releasing old stored up energy that is no longer helpful is what I'm learning to do, as I uncover the layers of secrets stored within me. This process really is rejuvenating.

And then, in the closet, there's still that raised floor...

Messages From Beyond (Continued)

I had one of those broken, horrible days yesterday; the ones where nothing is positive and everything is negative. Gray and I are in a relatively new relationship. Sometimes things come

up that can tear into the delicate fabric we are attempting to weave together.

After we came to a tentative solution...where Gray's amazing calming presence did its magic...we were besieged by messages from beyond. Almost as if the Universe was clapping...as if cheering the breakthrough in my old, erroneous belief that was clogging the flow of feeling between Gray and I.

To digress a moment...I think I will make the post Messages From Beyond a continuing series. With my Dad's recent passing, I am receiving more thoughts, feelings and manifestations than usual. Hence the continuation in the Title.

And so, our nightly meditions were much more powerful than usual. But more celebratory gestures by the Powers
were in store for us. Even Grandfather Tree became a part of the show.

Tree always has an aura, of course. It used to be a grayish white, telling me Tree was lacking in nutrients of some kind...Grandfather Tree was suffering. We showered him with attention. I researched Sequoias. Our particular Tree loves to grow at the side of ponds and creeks. In other words, he loves water, which we gave freely. And his aura changed a lot, to where brightness and colour appeared.

But last night, Grandfather was showering us with energy...his aura pulsed and arced, danced its way across the yard. Gray is a Karuna Reiki Master, and the fact that he was sending Tree energy may have had a lot to do with it, but the showers of colour Tree sent out with such spectacular, Northern Light results were awe-inspiring.

And Lucky, one of our dogs, who is usually off searching out creatures of the night along the fence, stayed close by Gray's side, his nose pressed into Gray's hand. (Lucky and Grandfather Tree have a long association of strange happenings...an idea for another post.) The dogs are usually the first to fully experience any unusual visitors or happenings. It used to frighten them, but now they only become very alert.

The evening was spent with remarkable optimism and peace; a huge turn-around from the black cloud that had covered the house for most of two days. And then an early night.

But the Universe still had more in store. I was drifting off to sleep...and my daughter appeared. It's been almost nine years since she passed. I see her only rarely now, always a wonderful occasion. Tall, slim and absolutely beautifully dressed in something both white and dark, she was leaning against a doorway, beckoning to me. We communed for a long time; although no words were spoken, I understood her completely. And then she faded, still smiling her wonderful smile. I woke startled, knowing I had passed some test, that some belief had completely shifted within me, and that Katrina was sending her congratulations and support.

And during the black day...a visitor. My Dad, someone whom I never understood well, came and suffered through the angst with me. I heard him speak, I heard his words, and they were remarkably gentle. His words and speech were rarely gentle when he spoke with me during his life, but they were yesterday. They were extraordinarily comforting.

I am amazed at his strength and ability to understand that his mission is not complete. As I've posted before, he has unfinished business. A month after his death, he is giving my mother unbelievable strength to survive this huge change in her life, at the age of 84. It is my belief that by doing so he is trying to make amends. It means a great deal to him. It makes me look at my Dad in a new light. Perhaps there is a lot yet to learn about my Dad.

Awareness is key. These visitations, dreams and messages are illusory and happen very quickly, in a blink of an eye. I find I have to feel completely balanced before I can communicate with any degree of success. Practice, again, is vital.

Today, there is a wild storm outside. Wind, always an Ally that clears my head and sharpens my words and wit, is blowing fiercely, and Rain is battering my windows, further clearing and cleansing. It feels absolutely great today and absolutely right.

The messages from beyond told me so.

My Intent

During this time with Maggie, I am tentatively walking a path I chose long ago. Because this path fills me with apprehension, I realize it is the correct way for me. Otherwise, the apprehension about this part of my life will forevermore follow me, and I want no regrets when it is time for me to take my place amongst my ancestors.

So I will fight for balance and impeccability, and I will learn to contact my guides for advice more and more. Awareness of nature and synchronistic events will become second nature to me. I will know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I am never alone.And with the knowledge I amass, I will teach others to walk their path…by telling a story or two about events that happened to me along the way.

This is my intent. Just as Gray in the photo at last reached the summit of the wall he was climbing, with full intent, so will I live my life in a Shamanistic manner. And I find the higher I climb, the better life is.

For awhile, I thought I would never be able to assimilate the teachings...Shaman Maggie is a hard task master (and she won't let you get away with anything!). And I felt as if I had to learn it all at once. I felt overwhelmed and tired, convinced I would never get it, whatever 'it' was.

And then, suddenly, the comprehension was there. And things started to change for the better. The consultations I had with my guides and allies made me see I was never alone. And if I needed reminding, Maggie was always just an email or IM away. Once I let myself believe in this different road I was traveling, it became so smooth and easy.

And I have just started the climb.

Spring and Winter

Yesterday, we had one of those absolutely gorgeous December days we can sometimes get after a long period of foggy, muffled weather. The fog, of course, kept the temperatures a bit warmer overnight. But it stayed clear during the night and when I got up this morning, the whole yard was covered in frost.

And the sunrise was incredible. What a gift! Sometimes, when the Winter solstice is almost upon us, if the sunshine touches us a certain way, I can feel Spring.

Spring...with its sudden bursts of brilliant colour dotted amongst (love that word) the cold muted background of the Winter hibernation. Spring, when the sun's rays tilt a certain way, catching the Heart and the Throat. Even though the ground is frozen outside today, the warmth of the Sun will melt the white frost, and I will catch a glimpse of the promise of Spring.

That's what Spring is all about...rebirth, hope and transformation. But right now, Winter is present, still. And in order to experience the herald of Spring, I use Winter to prepare. Winter is the time to hibernate and dream, the time to go inside myself and nurture the roots which will burst into bloom in the Spring.

To everything there is a season...