Clearing

During the time we've spent here, we've changed the look of the place. It once had brush growing almost right to the front door; the back area was completely grown in.  I had to wait, in the beginning, in order to be sure of where I was going to go with landscaping and building a greenhouse and woodworking shop.


Wait...the very word sends chills down my spine. I am not good with waiting, as long-time readers know. Last year, patience was the last thing on my mind; I wanted the garden to be done. Now. But there were many other items which had to be considered first...such as the interior of the house, which took precedence.

But this year...ahhh, this year... my time will be focused on gardening.  We are almost done with the interior...we have sold the old kitchen cupboards and appliances and this area will now become a huge mudroom/pantry/laundry room. The room will have built-ins...such as a linen closet, which for one reason or another, the house doesn't have.  I still shake my head when I remember unpacking piles of sheets and towels and discovering there was no place to put them...very disconcerting.



So, there are still a few things which must be done inside the house.

But the weather is glorious...we had a sprinkling of Rain, which makes every Shrub and Tree shine...the Aspens are beginning to show their sweet green beginnings, and the wild flowers are showing their tender new leaves as well.  This morning the temperatures were above freezing and Sun shone brightly, warming the soil.


And finally, it is time to garden.


I have found one aspect of gardening...the clearing of land... brings instant gratification.  Suddenly, what once appeared as impenetrable bushy landscape, has become open and inviting, even without any domesticated plants gracing the area. And I learn, as I clear. I learn how fertile the soil is, where once the bushes grew...their leaves, over the years, have broken down and created a very dark loam. I learn some of these places are moist and the soil is far more damp than that of places closer to the house. I finally find moss-covered areas.



It makes a huge difference when there is leaf mould to act as mulch, keeping the moisture in the earth.



I discover wild flowers, which, last year, were completely hidden. My plan was to plant in this area; this has changed, since I will wait to see what inhabits the places under the Aspens.

Roses are planted, however, along the driveway, above the retaining wall.  I visualize visitors being greeted by the scent and sight of the lovely blossoms...Roses will do well here, with sharp drainage, good soil and a warming shelf just above them.


It is a time for surprises.  After the Winter, where I despaired of ever seeing last year's plantings again, where I was sure they had all expired from the cold, I see new leaf growth.  The Hostas are all poking their sharp spikes upward...and Daffodil, even after Squirrel attack, is beginning to bloom.


And all the Lilacs are well on their way, with thick buds gracing the plants. Lilacs remind me of daughter Katrina, even though she's been gone for so many years, each one but a minute since her death. She was born in the month of May, and she walks closely with me during this magical month. She comes back to see her favourite flower bloom...I feel her very near. 

And...oh, she's so very welcome!


As I prune and clean, I find the meditative zone I go into, when there is repetitive work to be done, in the garden. Pain and general malaise fades into the background; I hear the music of the songbirds instead, displacing bodily pain. I become very intent upon the pruning and cutting...it is as if the plant and I are in harmony.


The atmosphere becomes different, when I clear.  It becomes lighter, less bogged. Air streams by, on the hands of Wind, cleansing dark and forgotten pockets of sludge. Warmth from Sun uncurl the tight buds of the wild Roses and Saskatoon Berry, beginning a glorious, new cycle of life.


I spend hours revelling in the pleasure of being here, right now, with no other thought than what I am doing at the present moment.


Clearing the land or clearing the mind...it is all the same, to me.

Tunnel Dream

I have stated many times before, after finishing the building of a kitchen, that I would never do it again.

And each time I say "never"... the Universe sends me another challenge.

So this time, I expressed relief and heartfelt gratitude at the completion of the new kitchen here. I caught myself a few times, wanting to say never again. But even if I can catch the words before they flow out of my mouth...I know I still feel it.

Kitchen builds are horrendous. The upheaval, the waiting and the patience required to do so make these renovations one of the most stressful. And I already had a kitchen I could use while this one was built...so I was far ahead of the usual game.

But it's finished now. A few bugs here and there still have to be worked out. It is a beautiful kitchen, with the woodwork made of Hickory and oil-rubbed Bronze pulls for the drawers.

And each drawer is self-closing, making a smooth snicking sound as it does so.

It would be anyone's dream, this kitchen. And yet...I have not completely accepted it as mine. With a whole heart.

There are so many changes, you see. My mind can't seem to keep up these days.

The other morning, as I went into the new kitchen to prepare breakfast, I had to ask myself...Which kitchen was I in? The motel kitchen, the old kitchen here, the Rye Road kitchen...or the new kitchen?

And if, in my morning addled state, I was in the new kitchen...where on Earth did I put everything yesterday?

And how does the dishwasher work, to its fullest capacity? And the fridge...there must be a way to optimize the space...and when does the Ice Maker start to work? This oven is a newer model of my older one...and the makers, in their wisdom, have changed quite a few crucial elements I had grown accustomed to. Such as entering the temperature, should I not want the pre-set one.

Can you sense I am not, in this instance, enamoured with more change?

I believe it is because I have to focus my sad, tired Mind. These days my Mind wants to flow along the proverbial River of Life, without any obstacles in the way. My Mind wants a rest.

I have become overwhelmed. I have probably been so for some time...but it took me awhile to realize it.

The least thing throws me off. It is time to de-stress, it is time to balance my body. I am way off the balance beam. Most of my attention has been focused on the Physical body...and I have ignored the Spiritual, Emotional and Mental bodies to a great degree.

Just when I'm ready to sit on the Pity Pot for an extended stay...a Hand...a strong but gentle Hand directs me to a chair on the deck. I know this Hand...strong directions emanate from it...and I do not resist. It seems impossible to do so.

Instantly, I am whisked away, down long tunnels, different colours in each. I discover I can ask for what I want to see...I may or may not be granted a vision, however. When I ask to see, the speed of the flow into the tunnel intensifies. And the visions granted are quick...Awareness is key, I discover.

And each time, at the end of the tunnel, whatever vision I received, I was enveloped by strong, golden light.

The Hand and its pressure to sit are not eased, for a long while. I use the Wind Chimes to call me back, finally...and Lucky, whose wet nose pushes my hand and wakes me completely.

Again, I am reminded I am not alone. The Powers-That-Be watch and wait for a time when I am willing to hear, with open Heart and receptive Mind.

The new kitchen can be approached with awe and discovery, instead of anxiety and grumbles. I have the ability to change my outlook, thereby changing the reality into one that feels like mine.

And once I decided to change my approach, things fell into place much more smoothly and intuition once more reigned.

The kitchen, the heart of the home, is done...ready and waiting for me to take charge.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Ready, Set...

Synchronicity seems to figure largely in this whole adventure of moving to the Northern Cariboo. There were improvements to the house we wanted to generate; we were told tradespeople would be difficult to come by. Qualicum Beach is an area where building and renovations go on constantly, with very little letup.

We wanted the bedroom, still painted the same colour it was when we moved in, to be renewed with more serene paint. The en suite bathroom required fresh paint, as well. We wanted new kitchen counters, a job we had put off as one of the last improvements to be done. The back fence still required replacing. Quotes had to be obtained from the moving companies.

Closet doors had to be installed. A sturdy front door would give safety and security to this grand Lady of a home. The side fence would also receive a new, sturdy gate. These are items we did not worry much about...but then we have two big dogs who are ferocious when it comes to strangers trying doors and gates. The owners-to-be might not have dogs such as ours.

But Graham was due to leave on January 25th, or thereabouts. He is a journeyman carpenter, along with his business acumen, and he was the one that worked on the previous improvements we made over the years. There was not enough time for him to do all the work required to place our home on the market.

We had to find tradespeople. With some trepidation, phone calls were made. We were surprised and delighted to find that each and every person we called...painters, kitchen counter people, and carpenters...all made themselves available to do the work required. Special ordered closet doors appeared, surprising even the seller. And the counter top...when we first queried, we were told it would be eight weeks before it could be made.

But when the installer appeared to measure, it seemed he had a change of heart, and told us he could have it done by the end of the month.

It is mud season, here on the Island. Snow one day, pelting rain the next, and two dogs rampaging after Raccoon...our back garden looked as if a herd of elephants had gone through. And the fence guy worked hard throughout a snowy, watery day to move the old boards, further mashing the lawn into a muddy Swamp.

Graham and I have both suffered with the flu, since before Christmas, carrying on with travel and work despite feeling, at times, as if we should be in bed. There was no time for sickness, in the accelerated conditions where we found ourselves.

And so, on a wet but sunny day, I decided to leave the paint fumes and attempt to clean the stems and stalks that still stood, rather drunkenly, in the garden. We were selling, and even in Winter, I wanted the garden to stand out.

One full day...a soft harbinger of Spring kind of day...had the garden looking as shipshape as it could, in the middle of January.

As I worked in the garden, I had the oddest feeling...as if my Plants, Trees and I were all in this together, were all intent on putting our best foot forward. I had a long conversation with Grandfather Tree, in which I asked him to find the buyers, to find someone who would care for him and the other Trees and Plants, as well as I tried to.

I was extremely grateful, on this one day, that the flu receded a bit, allowing me to work hard amongst my Plants. I could not have done it without intervention by the Powers-That-Be.

Grandfather Tree took our conversation to heart. Two days later, he sent a Forester/Furniture Maker and a Reflexologist to fall in love with our Home. And there have been others who are attracted, all of them interesting people...people who are slightly different from the norm. It seems our tiny sign in the window and Grandfather Tree are doing their job. And it is only a matter of time before ownership of our beloved Home falls to another.

I realized that all of the work required in order to sell, had fitted in smoothly and seamlessly. There were literally no hurdles to overcome, as yet. It seemed as if the Universe, in giving us this opportunity, was going to facilitate the work required in order for us to take advantage of it.

Our decision to concentrate on selling our home first, without the added convolutions of buying a new one at the same time, seems to be right. It is difficult for me...without having another home in mind to go to from here leaves my imagination in a far-off left field. There is nothing and nowhere to concentrate on, no future home I can furnish in my mind.

And yet, there is also great calm. It is as if I am opening myself, opening my heart, to receive great energy, hugely peaceful in nature, from the Universe. The more I open, the more I receive. It is a wondrous feeling, one difficult to describe in its entirety. But I will tell you this, even in the midst of a maelstrom of emotions, I am left feeling this whole thing has already been orchestrated. The details have already been hashed over, somewhere or some other time.

This time, this Piscean Fish only has to move with the flow.

The future is left in Creator's hands. We are dealing with the present for now.