Sold! And Now...?

There is a first time for everything; this is the first time I have sold a home without having another home ready to be moved into.

When the Sold sign went on the For Sale sign, it was with mixed feelings. On the one hand, I was happy to see it...that sign meant I would be joining up with Graham very soon.

On the other hand, it meant I was no longer the owner of this particular Home. All along, there have been wee pricks of reality, reminders that I was travelling a Road where I would definitely end up leaving this Home. But in my usual fashion, I ignored them, going on day by day as if nothing had changed, even packing up without really allowing myself to grasp the fact I was, indeed, leaving for another part of the country.

In about three weeks. To a part of the country where I have no home, house, trailer or cabin to move into. You see, if I think about moving too much, invariably my mind's eye wants to know where I am moving to...where will this chair sit or that desk go?...and there are no answers.

In my imagination, there is only a grey mist depicting my future home.

A Sold sign, as Graham says, kind of tells me, in no uncertain terms, that I have gone too far along this particular Road to turn back. I laughed when he said it; how much more obvious could that be...and yet, denial is a strange, weird thing. Awesome in its terrible power.

I have a wondrous ability to do everything that requires doing, regarding the Move, while at the same time, closing out the truly painful part of the whole thing. I have done this throughout my life; it is an epiphany of sorts...to realize I put off facing my true feelings and reality, until they become too large and omnivorous to ignore...but not one that is unfamiliar.

However, Creator has decided it was time to realize, fully and completely, this part of me. There is no Home in the offing, for me to further concentrate upon, to further stuff pain away...

There is only Now.

This day...this hour...this minute. I am reminded of page 449 in the Big Book...everything is exactly the way it is meant to be, right now.

My mind switches to Gratitude.

I have had time to hear my Grandson's first words...he says "Delicious!", amongst others. I have managed to keep steady my relationship with my Granddaughter, who is presently changing and maturing at a rapid rate, so fast it is difficult for me to keep up with her interests. I have realized and accepted the Love between Bree and I will not wane, even through the Turbulent Teens.

It has become wildly apparent to this Mother that her Daughter is a balanced, wise Adult, very well able to handle her own affairs, without me managing and controlling and advising. Quite often, these days, it is the other way around. When I complained about moving to a Motel Room, she said it would give me time to know Williams Lake, to wander around, take pictures and find my way along the misty Road I'm on.

Hmmm. She sounds like someone I am beginning to know a bit better...a little like me.

Heidi will live her life, using some of my teachings, some from Life, and some from other Mentors. No longer is it all in my Hands. The image I have of her as forever around the age of sixteen is no longer relevant.

I placed the selling of this Home in Creator's and Grandfather Tree's hands, with total faith it would sell very quickly. And it did.

I asked for people who would love this old Home as much as I did. On one of my forever Walks with the Dogs, tiredness overcame us, and I sat on a pile of lumber in the front Garden. The future purchasers wandered over to me, and intuitively, immediately, before anyone else even understood... I knew these people were the New Owners.

While they were drawing up the offer for this Home, Eagle flew around Grandfather Tree three times, in concentric Circles, in full view of myself and a carpenter who was working on the new gate. Anxiety about any conditions applied to the offer disappeared.

The New Owners have similar ideas to ours for furthering the improvements on this Home. One of them is a Woodworker, and understands Trees and their needs. The other is a Healer/Teacher/Gardener...and her birthday is the same date as mine. The whole event of selling became, as our Realtor mentioned, a very serendipitous movement...very smooth and easy.

There is great Gratitude for my heightened awareness of spiritual messages, which has increased dramatically during this time. Relying on total intuition is not easy; it requires strong vigilance for the unusual and faith in Opening myself to whatever is at whatever moment.

It requires standing and facing down the fearful Ego...the one that envisions only problems ahead.

And so, as I pack up my office, I feel, mostly, at peace. Fear manages to force its way in, every once in awhile. I have only to remember the Sunrise, on the morning that Graham left for the Cariboo. I had given my new camera to Graham, and only had my older one. The colours in these photos have not been altered in any way, it was the most brilliant, luridly so, almost, Sunrise I had ever encountered.

A Sunrise that heralded a New Beginning, one which had the definite stamp of approval given by the Universe.

So...who am I to worry endlessly about a future home? This whole event has been fated to be; it is orchestrated by a far greater and more knowledgeable Hand than mine.

And how many more signs proclaiming all is as it should be could I reasonably expect? I have had too many to count already.

A Home will appear, just when I least think about or expect it. It is the way of things.

Seemingly.

Who Knew?

Sometimes, my doctor says, a change is as good as a rest. And sometimes, the Universe has plans for me I could not, in my wildest dreams, ever have conjured up.

A month ago, I was contemplating Christmas and what I would serve for dinner. Two weeks into that month, Graham received word of a new position...in Williams Lake.

And today, after two weeks of tremendous excitement, anticipation and research into the Cariboo-Chilcotin area, I find I will be moving North into the interior of BC.

For an Island girl, used to the tempering breezes of Ocean all around, this will be a change in temperature, to begin. The mean temperature in Williams Lake is -10C for January...and during our recent cold snap, the temperatures there were closer to -17C. This will mean zone changes for me, as a gardener who has gardened on the much milder coast all my life.

Yet Williams Lake's flower is the Lilac...one of my favourite shrubs of all time. And I hear Rudbeckia and Echinacea does very well. There will be others I look forward to knowing, for their Northern hardiness.

There will be different varieties of wildlife from what I am accustomed to. There are Moose, Elk, Cariboo, Grizzly Bear, Wolves...and the Spirit Bear lives close to where I will be.

There are myriad Lakes and the Fraser River runs close by. Fishing is world renowned...and it is the home of the Williams Lake Stampede, huge ranches, lumber and mining. Williams Lake is the hub of the Northern Interior.

I think, perhaps, I may have a chance to manifest what I have always dreamed of having...a tiny guesthouse. A Bed and Breakfast, with produce grown in my own garden. With perhaps the stewardship of a Forest nearby, and Water not far away.

Along with the euphoria of a New Adventure...comes the sense of loss. This home and garden mean much to me...two weeks ago, I thought we were here for a long time. And Ocean will be three hours driving away, instead of just down the road.

In a two week time period, my life turned upside down, like the Tarot Card depicting the fallen building, called appropriately enough the Tower. This card, along with others depicting a great future, showed up often during my anticipatory Wait. There were many prosperous messages sent by the Animal Kingdom...the Eagles and Hawks...and the Snowy Owl.

If he wasn't a messenger from the North, I don't know who is.

In two weeks, mountains were moved to facilitate this complete change in my life. Obstacles were non-existent...events flowed as smoothly and surely as River moves to the Sea.

Even the move is all taken care of...all I have to do is find a place that will be a home. In the middle of winter, where the landscape is covered by an easy foot of Snow. The garden in the Cariboo will be a little like opening a box of chocolates, when Spring arrives.

The Wheel of Fortune also came up often, during my Wait. Mountains were moved and Rivers were crossed easily and safely because the whole thing was fated to be.

I feel a deep urge to move to this place I have never visited. Something calls me, strongly enough to leave my family...a thing I never imagined I would do. But by flight, they are only an hour away. And there is a great airport at Williams Lake.

For the last two months, I have undertaken to purge our home of items no longer serving their purpose, with an urgency I cannot convey. Even as I did this, I wondered at it...I asked Why?

The answer came with a suddenness that defies description.

Who knew, two weeks ago, that my life would be taken by a giant Hand, and shown a different path?