Taking Time

I get caught up in trying to do too many things at once. All this multi-tasking does nothing more than take my memory away...how can one remember anything when one's brain is besieged by a thousand things to do?

For instance, the other day I was taking photos of a Grosbeak...one of the Fledglings who was part of a large group decided to interact with me on the Bird feeder. Taking photos is great, if it's the only thing I am focused upon.


But the phone rang at the same time. And so, while I was speaking on the phone, I was taking photos simultaneously. I couldn't let the Bird get away without capturing it in photos.

Except that my attention was diverted; I could not give the person who called my entire focus. As a result,  I missed some important information the caller had to impart. And I had to call back, apologizing for my inattention.


And here's another example.  Have you ever tidied the house, putting this and that item away, and later realizing you have no idea where you put it?

Somewhere safe, is all I know when I try and find that particular object. 

And this would be because I am not focused on the moment, on the one item I am placing in its rightful spot. My brain is working overtime with thoughts of this and that and the other thing; the item in my hand is not part of what I am thinking about.

From Wikipedia on Human multitasking:

Since the 1990s, experimental psychologists have started experiments on the nature and limits of human multitasking. It has been shown multitasking is not as workable as concentrated times. In general, these studies have disclosed that people show severe interference when even very simple tasks are performed at the same time, if both tasks require selecting and producing action (e.g., (Gladstones, Regan & Lee 1989) (Pashler 1994)). Many researchers believe that action planning represents a "bottleneck", which the human brain can only perform one task at a time. Psychiatrist Richard Hallowell^[2] has gone so far as to describe multitasking as a “mythical activity in which people believe they can perform two or more tasks simultaneously.”

The term multitasking began with the computer, which is well able to open many windows, remember where it was directed to go...even remember which site one visited a few days ago. And much more...

When the brain has too much information, it is compelled to restart and refocus continuously. It actually takes more time to multitask. Some researchers believe the brain can be trained to do many things at once; others believe that multitasking is largely limited by the speed with which our prefontal cortex processes information.


But studies also show that while the brain can become adept at processing and responding to incoming information...it cannot truly multitask. And our brains are only capable of storing a limited amount of information in short term memory.


I have spoken with far too many people who all claim to be losing their memory. They aren't really...there is simply too much information coming at us from media and computers and cell phones and ipods and ipads and, and, and...


Author Steven Berlin Johnson describes one kind of multitasking....


“It usually involves skimming the surface of the incoming data, picking out the relevant details, and moving on to the next stream. You’re paying attention, but only partially. That lets you cast a wider net, but it also runs the risk of keeping you from really studying the fish."

This is called continuous partial attention. And basically, this means we all skim the information coming our way, not studying anything in depth. Attention is spread more thinly...leaving a friend on the phone believing they may not be as important as the photo of a Bird.


My poor brain. I thought multitasking was a good thing...A friend told me the other day that on an application form she was filling out was a question about how well she multitasked.


Obviously the questioner did not do his research. Perhaps his question could have been how well the applicant could focus and concentrate.

Right now, the television is turned on to a talk show, I am writing, I answer the telephone, I go outside to check plants battered by a Hail Storm, I feed the Dogs...what on Earth do I think I'm doing?


I believe I am going to take time back. I am going to focus on only one thing at once. No more making dinner, feeding the Dogs, planting an Herb, talking on the telephone and answering an email...all at about the same time. I ask myself...have any of the above list been done with care and attention?

I am not in the moment when I do all those items at once. Rather, I feel scattered, only able to think about the next thing and the next thing and the next...


It is no wonder my memory is poor...I am only partially focused on any of the above. And without true focus, can I remember any of the details I need?


There is a saying I learned in Hospice. And that is when visiting a client, we are to leave our problems at the door. I am going to take this a step further. I am going to leave everything at the door, all the time, whilst I concentrate on one thing or activity.


Instead of living for whatever the next item on my list may be, I intend to stop living in the future. Time goes way too fast, as it is. Why, I ask myself, would I want to make it go any faster? At my age?

I see many elderly people who remember a goodly portion of their lives. In detail. Will I, at that age?


Multitasking...the computer is good at it.


Why not leave it there?

The List

I received an email from a friend of mine recently. She sent me Ten Guidelines from God, in which He states there are changes I have to make in my life, effective immediately. He apologizes for any inconvenience.

God, in his guidelines, tells me to quit worrying. He tells me that I must enjoy fretting over everything, since I seem to do it all the time...it has become a habit. He tells me I must have forgotten about Him and His promise to take my burdens and carry them for me.

He tells me to "put it on the List". He tells me, in no uncertain terms, that this List is His, not mine, and therefore He is the one who will take care of the problem. He tells me that He can't do anything about any worry I might have until I turn it over to Him. And then I have to remember to ask Him for help.

After this, God tells me to trust Him. He says once I have turned over my weaknesses to Him, I am not to take them back. Those problems are now His. And should those problems return, in some way, to me...I am not to hold it close to me anymore...I am to return it to His To-Do List. He will take care of it, in time.

But I think God knows me really well.

Because He then suggests I am to let Him do His job. In other words, I am to have Faith in Him. And I am not to go niggling at the problem, just to see if anything has changed. He tells I really do not know best...He does.

Then He asks me...How hard can trust be?

He says it's a really simple part, the one I play in this game of Life...all I have to do is have Faith He will look after my needs. All I have to do with my problems is to "put it on the List."

Hmmm.

There are more guidelines, in this email from Franca. But these first ones are the ones that are difficult for me to do.

But I've noticed something. I've noticed that a problem that is becoming obsessive and is keeping me awake nights...when it is placed on God's List, I feel relief. And peace.

It is acceptance of the situation that gives me that serenity. Before I can place anything on a List, I have to be sure I have done everything I can, used all the wisdom I have. Only then, when I am at the end of my rope, will I hand it over to Creator.

With health problems seemingly taking over my life these days, I sometimes feel totally consumed by trying to find ways to manage those problems. I read about RA, I try various therapies, I go see specialists...it seems as if this is all I do, lately. The latest thing is orthotics.

I am running out of options. It is close to the time when I will have to place what feels like an obsession on God's list. It is close to the time when I can no longer fight for former youth and better health. Instead, I am close to accepting the limitations my health places on me.

I have a feeling that as soon as I do, I won't notice those limitations as much.

Acceptance in this case will be difficult. I am still unable to let go that, perhaps, I will find some remedy that will allow me to be as active as I was just a few years ago. This is denial of the facts I have been presented with by doctors. But I tell them, when they tell me there is no cure, there might be...there just might be something that will help.

And I tell them...I am not looking for a cure. I am looking for manageability. I am trying to find the best way to live, with limitations.

I ask them...Can you fault me for this?

But I understand. Doctors, my doctor tells me, are programmed to heal, to find a treatment that works. And when they can't...it makes my doctor angry and frustrated. He is rarely able to accept his own limitations.

The other day I told him there were alternative treatments he may not know about. He agreed completely and wished me all the best in my search. He gave me the pros and cons...and if truth be told, it was mostly cons.

Nonetheless, I felt relieved. All those talks I've had with Creator have borne fruit. Inch by inch, so slowly it is hardly noticeable, He is giving me strength. Strength to take a stand, strength to have the courage of my convictions. He is giving me the courage to change the things I can.

And that's one of his other Guidelines. All things will happen in His time, not mine. He sees the whole picture...His view of the World, He tells me, is not one I would want...and all I have to do is trust him. He will get to my to-do List.

He reminds me, once again, that events in my life have fallen into place, over and over again. When it was the right time for whatever it might be, there was almost a free fall of events happening...like a jigsaw puzzle, with the missing pieces suddenly finding their rightful place.

I think he's talking about patience.

And that's another one of his Guidelines.

And a whole other post!