Monday, April 03, 2006

A New Beginning

I did it! The box is empty. Pictures and memor- abilia are piled in their respective categories; the box has been added to the recycling bin. Done.

It was a tough afternoon. At times, I was transported back to places I didn't remember having been. Some of them held surprises; each time I looked at these pictures, I remembered the times and the events as being really happy. It brought home to me the idea that sad memories take precedence over joyful ones, when it comes to looking back over a life. They are the ones I remember fully.

But the the joyful moments are what kept me going. They were fleeting; really good times that were covered up with layers of the bad. It was so good for me to understand this about myself. Since balance in all things is where I strive to be, concentrating on the negative, explosively sad memories colours everything I do with a grey shroud...

Living like this doesn't let the bright colours shine through, in all their glory. Everything becomes lop-sided; nowhere near balanced.

I asked my Blue Stone and Shaman Maggie's Crystal to keep me company on this journey into the past. I also asked for guidance from my Totem animal, Grandfather Bear. My guides stood by, ready to offer assistance should I need it during this lesson I was being taught.

Cats, again, appeared in my dreams the night before the mood became right to attempt the clearing of the past. They are offering protection, along with riddles I can't comprehend, as yet.

Using these tools, I also requested that none of the negative energies attach themselves to me. I shielded thoroughly before attempting this journey. I released tension, anxiety and overwhelming tears as quickly as I could after the box was empty, completely empty. I knew I would probably never go back and was a one shot deal.

I feel lighter, happier in a gentle way. Looking at myself evolve over the years, remembering how confused I was for the majority of the time, as I lived someone else's beliefs, showed in each picture of myself. I carried excess baggage buried deep within me. These pictures brought the old packages out front and centre where they were then dismantled and dispatched.

A new beginning...and a job well done.

No comments:

Post a Comment