Wednesday, December 28, 2005

My Guides and I

The more I write about my guides and allies, the more I get asked how I found them. Truly, I am the worst person to ask. I didn't believe I had any. How inflated was I, to think that I may be worthy...yes...worthy of a guide or an ally? Who was i in the scheme of things? Nobody mentioned guides and allies when I was a child. I just had my "imaginary friends"... never telling anybody about them.

And because I didn't interact with my "friends" in later years, no longer believing in such things, I lost them. But just for a time. In my recovery from alcohol, I became very aware of my guides. It was an accepted thing among the other alcoholics I suddenly found myself with. I was among people who understood who I saw and were aware of the spiritual events that happened to aid my recovery.

I learned to speak with my guides. I learned to "feel" them when they were around me. It was a very long, drawn out process, over many years. The ability to sense my guides was accelerated when my daughter died. I spent a year learning who they were as they carried me through hell on earth. Once again, when I needed a huge crutch, there was never any thought that they would let me down.
I could sense them very easily; but only twice have I actually seen them, as physical beings. There is an old crone who gives me the stimulus to write. She does not mince her words; her sarcasm is legendary. But at the same time, when she appears, I am surrounded by the most loving energy, filled with it. She gives me the courage to stand and face my fear. She is a warrior.

There is a very large man, one whose hands are as large as ham hocks. He has appeared to me only once, and yet I know him as well as I know myself. His energy signature is imprinted into my soul. He has been with me since birth, and has carried me through two divorces, child rearing, a grandchild, the death of my daughter and myriad other disasters and joys. He is my protector.

I can easily use my senses and feel these two guides, and others. And I would ask for guidance, and hear or feel the answers to my questions. But I didn't know who they were. I didn't know what their history was, or if there even was a history, which led me down that rabbit hole for awhile. Practicing Shamanism and Reiki can lead me off the main path a lot, studying the reasons behind the reasons. My point being, it took a very long time before I felt a very urgent need to know more about these beings who walked with me.

And then, in the way of the Universe, I had a homework question to answer for Shaman Maggie. Who is your favourite Ascended Master and why, or, if you don't believe, why not? That's when I started my research into the beings who inhabit the Upper World, the spirit world. Who lived here? and what were their names?

To be continued next post...