Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Spirit's Eve

The veil between Worlds is thin during the days preceding, including and following Halloween.

The boundaries become translucent. Spirits of all kinds wander the Earth, trying once more to experience Life.

Odd dreams have populated my sleep these last few nights, dreams which are disturbing and unexplainable. I catch glimpses of people, here and there, as I work in what will be a garden.

These phantoms...they no longer startle me.  I have accepted their curiosity. And I most often feel approval emanating from them.

But not always. 

I am accustomed to being visited by Spirits. I do not always see them, but the feeling, when they arrive, is unmistakable. The Spirits who visit most often...close family and friends...have a familiar energy.  I welcome those energies, which sometimes coalesce into a vague human form, with all my heart.

However, the last few nights, I have been visited by one who is not someone I know. When I feel his darker energy, I feel deep fear.

This phantom growls.  He moves items, noisily and with intent, so that I may be startled awake. The night becomes blacker and deeper...there are no shadows.

I can see nothing. But I feel and hear him...and I quickly cover every inch of my body, telling myself I'm dreaming...telling myself to wake up, yet knowing I am not asleep...

I shook it off, the next day. I fully accept not all Spirits are good. However, it is very rare for me to be visited by a malevolent one.

Busy with the day, the deep fear faded within me.

I had almost forgotten, as I prepared myself for sleep, dozing in that wonderful pre-sleep, floating through the day gone by......

Very suddenly, peace departed...to be replaced by sheer black terror. It became very hard to breathe, as I struggled to contain my fear. Recognizing, honouring and controlling this fear is imperative when being visited.


Fear clouds awareness; I needed to know this being, in order to deal with him. And fear drains my power.


I become angry, as is common for me when I am overwhelmed by enormous presentiment. I sit up in the deep darkness, pushing my energy out, to the forefront. I decide I do not want to be frightened by this dead being, night after night.


And so, I feel I must stand and face this fearful Thing.


As I do, fearfulness fades...and curiosity takes its place. What or who is emanating such black energy?


In the midst of what I consider to be very disruptive noise, Graham sleeps on...as do the dogs. The visitor is here for me alone.

I feel my guides near.  I feel protected by my Guardian medallion, which I had slipped under my pillow earlier. Yet there is an intense pressure...a force keeping me still...


I negotiate. Let me know your intent, I say, Why are you here? But there are only strange growls in reply. I sense, also, a feeling of futility and sadness.


The growls and banging fade.  The Night becomes soft and shadowy once again, the furniture outlined clearly against the walls. The entity has departed.


Sleeps eludes for awhile; I decide to smudge with clear intent in the morning. As I lay in wonderment and perplexity, I considered the fact we had excavated an area where I felt a very strong energy field. Perhaps, even with all the preparations I undertook, with respect to the land, something feels displaced and disoriented.



After a thorough smudging and blessing, last night's sleep was undisturbed, by the being, at least.  Dreams, however, were troubling, with no apparent meaning.


But the memory of this dark force has me unsettled. Who, what, why? There are no answers, as yet. However, I feel  I must prepare.


Halloween...the Night the Spirits walk...has yet to arrive.

14 comments:

  1. I will wait with great anticipation for further updates.

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  2. "...And so, I feel I must stand and face this fearful Thing.
    As I do, fearfulness fades."
    What an experience, Marion!
    I read somewhere that a woman had the same nightmare since she was a teenager, where she is being chased by monsters. Someone suggested that in her dream, she should turn around, stop running and confront her monsters. She did that one night and the monsters turned back and her nightmares stopped.
    Whether the monsters are in spirit world or dream world, showing them that we are not afraid works; all perpetrators feed on fear.

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  3. I hope you can face this fear and find peace.

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  4. You are back!! Just in time for the cold of winter no doubt.

    I heard recently that many of the old ghost-house goings on of the olden days (visions, noises, feelings of dread, etc) could possibly be explained by carbon monoxide poisoning from the gas lighting used so much in houses back then. This poisoning has the same symptoms as those described by purveyors of ghostly visions.
    This is not to say that all visions and happenings can be explained by this cause, however. I am not a non-believer.

    Why do you suspect that your nightime presence is male in nature? How does that maleness manifest itself? Could you have brought it back with you from the coast? Many questions.

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  5. Could the "fear" be the dark cold winter days ahead of you, as this I guess will be your first winter in this type of location. I am looking forward to pictures of your winter with all the snow etc. But I'm sure you will be well prepared. I expect it will be a complete contrast to our winters here.

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  6. PD,

    I wish I had answers. I have waited for it, fully prepared, and even as I feel this is not over, the last few nights have been uneventful.

    One thing I've learned over the years is that energy bodies have their own time line, appearing just when I least expect it.

    Miruh,

    Yes, lucid dreaming can chase many monstrous beings and thought away for all time. There is nothing like waking from a nightmare and knowing you have faced Fear down. It is so empowering.

    Yet, standing and facing Fear sometimes gets me into trouble. I get angry first, you see...and am not terribly concerned about my own safety at these times. So far, so good!

    Sheila,

    Me, too. I am not sure what it is, as yet.

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  7. Goatman,

    Your posts and comments always make me think and think and think and think, lol!

    I wish this one could be explained away. I have heard the same about the carbon monoxide, which would have been common with the fuel which was burned at the time.

    I don't feel the entity was human. But it had more male energy than female...females have a softer energy, mostly, when they visit, although there is the 'hag' who visits and makes my hair curl! She flies directly at me, shrieking...but that's another story!

    I have a vision of it,in my mind, even if I did not see it. It is kind of round and large and I get the distinct feeling it's colour is brown. And I guess the growls themselves were deep and masculine, but mostly I could just feel the energy, which I am sure had a masculine feel.

    I don't feel I brought it back with me from the Coast. If people close to me are in trouble, I can feel similar anxiety, even if I do not know if there are problems. But there aren't any troubles with the family, that I know of.

    I wish I had the ability to explain these visitations better than I do; my mind and fingers freeze when I try, lol!

    Davem,

    We're as prepared as we're ever going to be...this morning, we woke up to Snow. And you could be right. There is a certain amount of anticipation for a season much different from any I have experienced before...will I be able to handle a long Winter without going a little bonkers?

    Any more of those dream visitations and the question might be answered, lol!

    Last February, when I moved, I had no idea there were so many lakes in the area. They were completely frozen over with Snow and Ice, looking much like the fields surrounding them.

    I sincerely hope I don't get tired of taking photos of the landscape clothed in Snow...there is a lot of it and for a long time, lol!

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  8. I love this blog! Could you please email me privately? I have a wee giftie for you.

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  9. Very spooky, rather you than me :)

    We don't have Halloween here but being Summer Beltaine (normally celebrated 1st May in the North) was celebrated by some of our local Pagans which is far nicer with all it's wonderful blessings.

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  10. Your descriptions of the spirit are helpful and, of course scary, to me.
    You have a very active spirit life I take it, but it sounds as if you can handle it. I wonder if the new location you find yourself in is bringing out the wild spirits about, wondering who the newbie is, testing your mettle?

    The best I've ever been able to come up with during sleep are flying dreams where my spirit runs free and can escape any negative. "But that was back when I was old, I'm younger than that now". To quote a song . . . Dylan??

    I wish I could remember who said it, but suffice to say it was to the effect that we must all be warriors in our passage through life. Ready for battle but also ready to make peace.

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  11. Yes, it was Dylan, goatman: "But I was so much older then. I'm younger than that now."

    This is a scary post, Marion. You're a brilliant storyteller. I wonder if this entity just wished to have its feelings acknowledged, "to be heard"? I hope you will be free of him in the future. If not, perhaps you can have your property blessed in some way?

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  12. Susanne,

    How exciting! I sent an email to you a couple of days ago.

    Jackie,

    Beltaine is a lovely holiday! Of course you would celebrate the day in our Winter...it's one of my favourites of all Pagan holidays.

    Goatman,

    I can feel and hear Spirits...I do not always see them. And if anyone can get comfortable feeling and hearing the Spirits all around us, that would be me.

    I have had no indication of any further visits. The days following this one, one of my dogs slept right beside my bed, instead of in his favourite, soft cushion. He was up and down all night, yet would not leave. It was strange.

    Simon,

    Thanks for answering Goatman...I'll be hearing the song in my head all day!

    On the second visit, I felt his futility at this attempt to make me understand...and having me revert to anger and fear. On further reflection, I wonder if I blew it...what was his message? It's reminiscent of another visitation, a long time ago. I reacted the same way then, and felt I had messed up, later on, as well.

    Both Graham, who is a Karuna Reiki Master and myself have smudged and blessed the room. We have also taken down the old wallpaper and have painted the entire room.

    Funny...I was fearful and now, when it looks as if he's gone, I want him back. Isn't it always the way!

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  13. Could your dog, rather than your attitude have scared the spirit off?
    Dogs are very tuned into your feelings and intentions. My dogs will run when I emit from the back door with their flea drops. Stinky to them I suspect.
    Stay warm and take care of each other.

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  14. Lucky is our healer and sensitive. He is the first to spot an eagle, and has always talked with them...it's quite amazing to see him run along with the eagles. I am sure he picked up some energy from either me, or the visitor.

    As time goes on, I've noticed both dogs now checking in during the night. A difference in behaviour, for sure.

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