Friday, April 25, 2008

Loving Myself

If I don't love myself, if I don't experience loving myself unconditionally, then I will not know how to love others. I can't give what I don't have.

After reading Talking To Nightlights post this morning, and taking the subsequent link to Anita's NDE interview, this is what struck me the most. It is an amazing story; you will do yourself a service if you read it.

It is so simple, really. I can't give what I don't have.

I have heard this before, but never with the clarity with which I absorbed it this morning. I can be caring and loving...all the right things...but unless I love myself, the whole of myself...body, mind and Spirit, accepting each and every thing about myself, past and present...unless I experience it towards myself, how can I know what love is?

Having recently moved to a different part of the Province, there are myriad appointments that must be made...with a new Doctor, Dentist, Lawyer, Banker, Massage Therapist...the list goes on. And each of these appointments spawns a whole series of new ones...hospitals, drugstores, and specialists. Then there are all the new services...we have a well and septic system, which requires care; we want to build, which requires new contractors.

And each time I must explain myself and what I require. This is not an easy endeavour for me, at depends upon how I feel about myself, at that particular moment. If I am not feeling loving towards myself, I will project that lovelessness to others, who will feel that negative energy. The whole project, whatever it is, can go sour from that first instant.

I notice, however, if the opposite occurs, if I am feeling good and loving towards myself, I project that same energy to others. Each time, what I give out comes back to me.

Loving myself can change circumstances. It gives self-power. It changes realities.

With arthritis, a disease which can continue to worsen over time, I have accepted the fact it is a part of me...a part of my body, which struggles at times with pain. And I told my doctor ( medical personnel continually want to try a drug or another, to alleviate swelling, etc.) it was not so bad, really...I have grown accustomed to it.

I spoke softly, but with strength, when I gave my new doctor the news that I would continue to monitor pain, use massage therapies and other alternative methods...but I would not try out any more new drugs.

I can still feel the hives from the last experiment.

Had I not read Anita's story, I would have felt apologetic about my body's lack of tolerance...I would have felt sorry for even having arthritis.

Instead, I felt proud and loving of the way my Body, Mind and Spirit had dealt with it. And my new doctor and I have a relationship where we are equal partners.

Once upon a time, I felt loving myself was selfish. And I continued to bash myself, to unequivocally take the blame...for pretty much anything. Even as I write these words, I feel the negativity trying to take hold.

You see, if my belief is that all Beings are One, and if I don't love myself...then I cannot love others, either.

It all goes back to wanting to be able to give what I know I have.


  1. That is such a good point. And along with love must come respecting ourselves and accepting ourselves.

    Lovely post.

  2. Marion,
    You are such a sweetheart.
    And you are so right, it is a gentle motherly love we can offer ourselves; a nuture and kindness, and a belief that all will be well.
    What a kind reminder, thank YOU!
    Harmony...PS. White Rock is in full spring, how about you?

  3. Brian Tracy talked about much the same idea in his tape series "The Psychology of Achievement". It isn't as metaphysical as some other approaches, but he presents some really powerful, enlightening ideas in a very accessible way. Give it a listen if you can find it.

  4. Wonderful post Marion, you are truly an inspirational writer. :)

    Great visiting your blog again too, I have been extremely busy lately, and now I have some down time so I plan on catching up. :)

  5. You are absolutely correct. When you fill yourself with love, love for yourself, then all you have to give is that love. Do not place conditions for that love and let the feelings of euphoria take hold of your spirit. When you give what you have inside then what you get back is more of the same; this is the law of the universe. When you are kind to the tree it offers shade and comfort when you are gentle as you walk the earth then it gives back security. The Love inside you is what others respond favorably to. We are like oranges. What do organes give when squeezed? Orange Jucie. If we are filled with love then that is what we give in all situations.
    Thank for such a wonderful post and insight.

  6. Very good points nicely put Marion.
    Yes, I have decided to take a break from posting but I will still be reading blogs.
    No, we havent moved yet...and house prices are falling.

  7. Jan,

    Forgiving myself was the hardest. I've still got some work to do on this; it was a difficult post to write.


    I'll bet you're just swamped with tulips and daffs and green, baby leaves. I have noticed the bark on the shrubs and trees are changing colours...leaves will unfurl soon, I think and hope!


    Thank you for the lead. There are many who have written on this subject and I have read a few. This time, it just finally really sunk in. An epiphany, perhaps.


    How nice to see you. I visited your blog not so long's really nice to keep in touch.I'm going to have to meander over to your blog to see what's been keeping you so busy. See you there.


    You're amazing. And you have a great way with words, too, by the way.


    So many of my cyber pals lately have decided to take time off. Spring MUST be in the air!

    I'm so sorry you've been hit by the housing market...hope it looks up soon.

  8. Hi Marion - Thanks so much for your kind words over at Harmony's site - as I said over there, I'm really pleased that you two have connected up!

    What you say about loving yourself is so right. Only when we love ourselves can we love others. The outside reflects the inside. It is always worth remembering this when people are unpleasant towards us. The chances are it is nothing personal! It is simply a manifestation of their inner dis-ease.

    Thanks for the link to Anita's experience. It is nice to have this kind of confirmation of what I believe to be true. Even so, it does make me wonder why we can't all be given this kind of certainty and understanding about our purpose in life. It would be kind of convenient to know!

  9. thank you for this. came just the right time for me.

  10. Great post Marion. It just reinforces what I have always believed before we can learn to love others, we have to learn to love ourselves. I always think the way we feel about ourselves makes a big difference to how others see us. I always feel sorry for people who have a bad attitude or are nasty. They obviously have a lot of inner turmoil they need to resolve.

  11. Simon,

    Wouldn't it be convenient to know!It is far more difficult to go on faith, alone.

    I believe I do know, and I think we all do. It's just we like to question it, we want that scientific full proof written up and without doubt.

    Anita's story,even if it had graphs and charts and unexplainable theorems, even then, we would question.


    So glad you're back safely from your honeymoon! And I'm glad this post helped.