First Birthday

Time really does fly by...my baby grandson is a year old today.

A year ago, when Graydon was born, nobody could have convinced me I would be living in the Cariboo a year hence.

I am still surprised it happened...this move away from my family. I am not sure I have completely assimilated it yet, even as I live here.

My family will celebrate Graydon's birthday without me and Graham this year, but there will be a DVD of the proceedings. I am happy he received his first parcel from us, in time to open his present.

Parcels cement grandparents' connection to their grandkids, if there is distance involved. I remember the wonderful surprises my Oma sent me from Europe. There were exotic chocolates and candies...and German comic books. Those comics taught me to read the German language.

And these comic books taught me a bit about my German heritage and background. It will be small things like these which will fill the parcels I send...one never knows exactly what toy or book will enhance a child's life.

One year ago today, life changed for us, when Graydon arrived. And a year later, life changed again.

There will be a celebration here, in the Cariboo, as well. It is the day we will be moving into our new home. A double celebratory event for us.

I will wander through the house, imprinting the feel of it, the energy emitted. I will plan where items of furniture will go, when it arrives a few days from now. And I will remember the night Graydon was born...

I will not forget to send gratitude to Creator for the wonderful gift given to our family that night. In my humble opinion, there is none greater.

And now, a year later, we enjoy and dearly love our grandson... from afar, albeit...but even with the present uproar we are in, I remember the feel of him in my arms, how he snuggled and curled into my very soul, when he was born. And distance cannot harm this memory.

I will enjoy planning the guest rooms, one adult orientated, and one more suited to our grandkids, Bree and Graydon. A room where they will be comfortable, when things get a little hectic with the adults, with books and DVD's to curl up with, when they visit in the Winter. A warm room, one that welcomes after a day spent in the Snow, or on a Lake.

This is how I will bring my family to me...by the plans I make as I decorate their rooms. Other guests will use them, of course...but the primary purpose behind the decorating will be our family, and their likes and dislikes. It keeps them close.

I know, deep inside, most holidays and family celebrations will be spent together, but there will be some where distance or circumstances will keep us apart.

Those are the times when a memory of Bree's flashing smile or Graydon's chuckle will warm my heart. And there will be gratitude, once again, to Creator for the ease of contact, be it telephone, mail or Video in this day and age.

I hear Graydon's voice on the telephone...the soft babble that comes over the wires melts my heart. Bree, a non-telephone user, will overcome her dislike for speaking on the phone and give quick updates on her life, leaving me with her heartfelt expression of love for me and a giggle...the giggle which has not changed much from when she was a small child.

This morning, I went out on the Motel's deck, and sent Birthday blessings on the Breeze, sending Reiki energy to my family. A Mule Deer greeted me, meeting my eyes with the familiar thrum of energy which occurs when I meet the eyes of a Wild Being.

I know, intuitively, my blessings have been received.

I have found a way to make distance from family work as well as it's going to. After the next month or so, when we will be busy with making a home, I will travel to the coast...and then will travel as regularly as I can, in order to keep up with the growth of my grandchildren.

This past year, since Graydon was born, has presented many changes.

Being part of Grady's Birthday celebrations from afar is just one more of them.

So much Love and blessings to you, so many hugs and kisses, dear Graydon, on your First Birthday!

Travellers In Transition

I have found, to my surprise, that Motels can be lonely, boring and sad places. At one time, a few weeks in a Motel, with no responsibilities, would have been heaven.

My relationship with Hotels, Motels, Inns and the like has, up until now, only been utilized for a few days, at most. And they were mostly vacation resorts.

I have never stayed in one for a month, while I wait for the house, a short time, really, as compared to other people's stories.

People who have stayed in lodgings such as these, while they wait for their lives to resume, some with small children, deserve my admiration. Some tell me their wait was three months...

I am grateful I have only ten days left.

The people who stay in this Motel, at this time of year, consist of Highway, Hydro and Telephone Workers, Truckers, Mineral Explorers and Miners, and Forestry Workers. These people keep the Motels busy during the Winter, here in the Northern part of the Province. Some of them are here for a day...others for longer periods of time.

All are away from their families. I have yet to see any Women or Children. Only lone Men, who trudge, on the weekends, to the laundromat, with their small piles of soiled laundry.

During the week, they arrive at the end of the day in vehicles covered in mud. A shower will start in each room, shortly after their arrival. An hour may pass, before each worker reenters their truck, in order to find Dinner. Upon returning, it is usually a very short time before all lights are extinguished, and sleep is sought.

Some of the younger men, when they first arrive, try to treat Motel living as party time. It only usually takes a day or two of working, before high spirits are dampened.

The reality is difficult to see at first, for these young men. But it is cold in the far reaches of the Cariboo, with much Snow and Ice yet to battle. In some areas, where Spring Melt is underway, the Mud can be treacherous. Weather is variable; cold and clear one moment, with a brisk south easterly Wind, Blizzard conditions the next, with a few warm, Springlike days thrown in...gentle reminders and titillation of finer weather yet to arrive.

Weather passes through quickly here...we left for a trip to Kamloops one clear, sunny morning...and returned the same afternoon in a Blizzard. How very quickly a dry road changes into a long white satiny ribbon, with no defined edges! We made it safely, but not without a few very tense moments.

As I watch the transient people and wait for my own shift, I wonder how many of these travellers will or have already been bitten by the Northern Bug.

Because there is one. Oh yes.

Northern Bugs. They bite the unwary, mostly...some of whom have become inured to the beauties of Mother Earth, others who seek it. They find those who have Spirits of Adventure, some of it extreme. They find the stubborn, the fearless, the slightly odd...all with a strong connection to the land.

There is no way to fight it, once the Northern Bug has taken hold. People with the Bug, if they relocate South, will have a far-off distant look at times, a longing energy. People with the Bug feel complete in the North.

Some of these young men who stay in this Motel will be bitten, making a life here. Their mentors, grizzled older men who are in charge, have been bitten long ago. In my mother's Care Home, I met many elder Northerners, situated there to be with their families, perhaps. I would hear the stories of the old days...days of hardship, with unbelievable travails.

Yet, some of the ranches in the area have been in the same family for generations. I've been told once the Northern Bug bites, it is impossible to leave it behind.

Will the Bug bite me? I don't know. I don't know if I am made of that strong, unbreakable stuffing it takes to live in this climate, for more than a few years. I love it here; I love the Island I left behind, as well. There is beauty everywhere.

All I know is, I have rarely felt as grounded and balanced, as I have during these weeks at this Motel, with all the others who are in transition. All I know is, I can breathe here, tension is easily dealt with, and my joints and bones feel much better.

And for this, as I wait to know the land where I will make my home, I am grateful.

A Dwelling Place

These photos are the first taken of our new home...our new dwelling place.

There are aged Boulders and Rocks...some covered in my old friend, Moss. And there are Trees...many, many Trees.

Apparently, there is a view of the entire Borland Valley...prime viewing, indeed. But, in order to see it, I will be required to sacrifice a few Trees. A daunting prospect; taking down Trees will be a difficult decision for me.

Graham will be building a Wood Shop; there will be some clearing done then. The Trees that must be removed will be used for fencing, showing their usefulness and beauty long after their lives have ended.

There is still much Snow lying in drifts, making walking any distance away from the house slippery and difficult. The Snow makes it difficult, too, for me to grasp how I might want to landscape...photos of the land in Summer and Autumn depict an entirely different land than the one I see today.

At one time, a small creek ran beside the house. I suspect development and diversion have taken it away. I imagine steps taking me down into a dry creek bed, planted here and there with ferns and mosses, as it will be in deep shade, across from the North entry to the house.

And there is the West side of the house, one of two spots chosen for the new Shop. There are many, many Trees there...some starved for Light, growing lank and spindly. Care will have to be lavished on this wonderful, unused area, to which I could feel the beginnings of attachment to the land.

The West side is underused and ignored, yet the whispers of energy were strongest here. Because of all the Trees, it is in deep shade, with those Mossy Boulders...the kind which look and feel as if they have the wisdom of the Ages deep within.

I questioned the previous owner...where would she plant Apple Trees, if she were me? Pleased to be asked, she elaborated on her favourite spot for Fruit Trees, where she had always intended to plant them, and which kinds. She would situate them on the lower South bench, she said...there is much Sun there.

The East Side of the house is the first face to be seen, from the driveway. It is the second choice for the Wood Shop, but it is a prime area for a Vegetable garden, as well. Close to the house, there might be a slim chance the Animal Browsers won't bother with it, especially if it has an eight foot fence around it. There are stairs which would lead me directly to the Vegetables, just off the deck. This, too, is where I would place the compost bin...inside the garden's fence. Compost, especially during fruit season, draws Bears, but it is such a valuable part of gardening, it would be difficult to leave it out.

And in the North entryway, which has yet to be planned out, I want to introduce Hosta, Hydrangea and Sword Fern. I plan on researching different Vines and their hardiness. They will be used to soften the edges of the entry, with trellises.

I want to plant daffodils throughout; it will take me years. But one day, those golden heads, with their distinctive scent, will herald Spring throughout this new Forest.

There are many, many wild plants here, both strange and familiar...Groundcovers, Shrubs and Trees. I will utilize them everywhere; I love to use wildlings. They are tough and strong and know the climate...and they usually feed the Animal Browsers with Berries. I am told there are many Saskatoon Berry bushes dotted here and there. Spring will be the time of discovery.

There will be changes to the interior of the home...a new kitchen, wood floors and painting...general redecorating...will take up my time, for awhile.

I look forward to quiet times on the deck, overlooking the Forest, when indoor chores overwhelm. With a cup of Tea and my binoculars close at hand. In this way, eventually, I will know the Birds, the Trees and the Animals that make this land their home.

And, exactly like this. over the Summer's season, will this dwelling, tucked into its own Forest, become part of me, joining my Soul.

Just as all the other Land I have had the privilege of caretaking for Spirit has.

Can You Believe...?

The weather is gorgeous here today. Perhaps the town is a little battered from Winter's Storms, but there is hope on people's faces. Those faces reflect the light from Sun; weatherworn and aged or newborn, all share in the warmth of the coming Spring.

I was intending to share in the feeling of Spring's goodwill. It warmed outside as the morning wore on; I thought I would take my camera and drive into the hills to see if I could find my new home. And I had the idea of taking a trip into town to visit the interesting little toy shop I had noticed. It will soon be Graydon's first birthday, and he will receive his first parcel from his grandparents in the Cariboo.

But there were other plans afoot. Dark energies intent on destroying faith in me overrode the positive thoughts I was sending. Too tired to be aware, my energies low, I drew the black forces...and received a big wake-up call.

I don't live in a retirement community any longer.

My car had been burgled sometime during the night.

My mind elsewhere, I mildly wondered why the car door was a little ajar, and as I sat down, my mind finally registered that the entire front dashboard was lying in pieces around me. And there were shards of glass everywhere from when the would-be thieves broke all the lights, in order to work in darkness.

I stumbled out of the car, feeling the leaden emotion, a deadening one, I experience when I am hit by shock. During this time, I am completely unaware of any activity around me, and am not aware, either, of what I am about.

I called the owner of the Motel, where we are staying. After a short conversation, wherein he expressed his shock and disbelief, he immediately called the RCMP.

I couldn't reach Graham, as he was out of his office.

And so, I wandered outside, into the Garden. I stared down at the just-awakening plants, wondering vaguely if I would see them bloom. Would I still be here, at the Motel? Trees are showing huge buds. As soon as the Snow cover left, the sleeping plants made up for lost time.

Spring is coming to the Cariboo, just as it does everywhere.

How easily and quickly our locked car was vandalized! Right in front of our room! I was beginning to understand what had happened; however, I wanted to hold on to the deadened, protective state I was in awhile longer.

Graham arrived; the police soon after.

A few months ago, the RCMP had used marked cars, and had been able to stop the rampant car thievery happening here. But the thieves had done their time in prison, they were out this week, and Williams Lake is once more a target.

The thieves trying to take my car were interrupted, but not before, as the policeman stated, they had made a real mess. The dashboard and the steering column were entirely pulled apart...it was obviously a job done by an amateur. Had they known what they were doing, the car would have been gone.

Instead, we wait for an insurance adjuster, at which point the vehicle will be towed to wherever they take poor, disabled cars which are the object of useless thievery.

It was not until a few hours later that my legs began to shake. And my body felt as if it were waking from a long sleep.

I went through a whole gamut of emotions; bewilderment and confusion seemed to be foremost.

Anger, a strangely diluted anger, appeared this morning, over a small thing which had nothing at all to do with my car. But it had me seeing a murderous red, until I became aware.

Violence, even random violence, does much damage to the victim. I am aware of how I react to these senseless acts which switch on Shock...it is as if I detach and watch and wait, knowing what the next stage will be, and hanging on, riding it out. But, years ago, in a time where I did not understand myself so well, an act such as this had the capability of placing me into depression...deep sadness and anxiety.

I have found it feels much better to just wait and see, at my age. I no longer have the energy to tackle things I can do very little about...I no longer have the energy to bang my head against that wall.

So. I will let the authorities do what they do, in their time, which seems just short of a complete stop. And I will concentrate, instead, on what I have learned about this vast place. Williams Lake is a large city, and it sits as the Hub of many small towns and villages. It is a draw for both positive and negative energies.

It is situated in a land carved by Rivers, Lakes, Ravines and Mountains. It is a land of vast distances; people think nothing of travelling miles to shop. There is still a certain lawless feel to the area. Car theft is an easy target, as there are so many places to hide the trashed vehicle. We were told the thieves probably just wanted a ride home.

After which, the car would have been dumped in one of the far off Ravines...

And yet. This place feels so familiar. Still, even with the vandalism, I feel at home. It is a mill town, similar to my hometown in many, many ways. I understand the concerns and worries inherent to an industrial City that relies, in large part, on the Forest Industry.

With the addition of the Pine Beetle, a devastating scourge for huge areas of Forest, and the additional layoffs with reference to the slumping housing market, there is fear here...fear of the future, for those with young families. A familiar scenario.

It seems, while I live in the City, I will be required to take more care, to leave the small town naivety I came with behind.

As one of the RCMP officers said...Do you remember those quiet walks on the Beach? And he gave a small chuckle.

Yes. I do, indeed.

Today, however, a few days after the incident...I bask in the gentle Wind and Sun, feeling perfectly at ease, grounded and safe. I've already seen three Moose...amazingly huge beings...and am watching the different Birds. I see, before my eyes, the Cariboo waking up, and a wondrous sight it is.

I am grateful to be here.

The decision to move was exactly right.