I was intending to share in the feeling of Spring's goodwill. It warmed outside as the morning wore on; I thought I would take my camera and drive into the hills to see if I could find my new home. And I had the idea of taking a trip into town to visit the interesting little toy shop I had noticed. It will soon be Graydon's first birthday, and he will receive his first parcel from his grandparents in the Cariboo.
But there were other plans afoot. Dark energies intent on destroying faith in me overrode the positive thoughts I was sending. Too tired to be aware, my energies low, I drew the black forces...and received a big wake-up call.
I don't live in a retirement community any longer.
My car had been burgled sometime during the night.
My mind elsewhere, I mildly wondered why the car door was a little ajar, and as I sat down, my mind finally registered that the entire front dashboard was lying in pieces around me. And there were shards of glass everywhere from when the would-be thieves broke all the lights, in order to work in darkness.
I stumbled out of the car, feeling the leaden emotion, a deadening one, I experience when I am hit by shock. During this time, I am completely unaware of any activity around me, and am not aware, either, of what I am about.
I called the owner of the Motel, where we are staying. After a short conversation, wherein he expressed his shock and disbelief, he immediately called the RCMP.
I couldn't reach Graham, as he was out of his office.
And so, I wandered outside, into the Garden. I stared down at the just-awakening plants, wondering vaguely if I would see them bloom. Would I still be here, at the Motel? Trees are showing huge buds. As soon as the Snow cover left, the sleeping plants made up for lost time.
Spring is coming to the Cariboo, just as it does everywhere.
How easily and quickly our locked car was vandalized! Right in front of our room! I was beginning to understand what had happened; however, I wanted to hold on to the deadened, protective state I was in awhile longer.
Graham arrived; the police soon after.
A few months ago, the RCMP had used marked cars, and had been able to stop the rampant car thievery happening here. But the thieves had done their time in prison, they were out this week, and Williams Lake is once more a target.
The thieves trying to take my car were interrupted, but not before, as the policeman stated, they had made a real mess. The dashboard and the steering column were entirely pulled apart...it was obviously a job done by an amateur. Had they known what they were doing, the car would have been gone.
Instead, we wait for an insurance adjuster, at which point the vehicle will be towed to wherever they take poor, disabled cars which are the object of useless thievery.
It was not until a few hours later that my legs began to shake. And my body felt as if it were waking from a long sleep.
I went through a whole gamut of emotions; bewilderment and confusion seemed to be foremost.
Anger, a strangely diluted anger, appeared this morning, over a small thing which had nothing at all to do with my car. But it had me seeing a murderous red, until I became aware.
Violence, even random violence, does much damage to the victim. I am aware of how I react to these senseless acts which switch on Shock...it is as if I detach and watch and wait, knowing what the next stage will be, and hanging on, riding it out. But, years ago, in a time where I did not understand myself so well, an act such as this had the capability of placing me into depression...deep sadness and anxiety.
I have found it feels much better to just wait and see, at my age. I no longer have the energy to tackle things I can do very little about...I no longer have the energy to bang my head against that wall.
So. I will let the authorities do what they do, in their time, which seems just short of a complete stop. And I will concentrate, instead, on what I have learned about this vast place. Williams Lake is a large city, and it sits as the Hub of many small towns and villages. It is a draw for both positive and negative energies.
It is situated in a land carved by Rivers, Lakes, Ravines and Mountains. It is a land of vast distances; people think nothing of travelling miles to shop. There is still a certain lawless feel to the area. Car theft is an easy target, as there are so many places to hide the trashed vehicle. We were told the thieves probably just wanted a ride home.
After which, the car would have been dumped in one of the far off Ravines...
And yet. This place feels so familiar. Still, even with the vandalism, I feel at home. It is a mill town, similar to my hometown in many, many ways. I understand the concerns and worries inherent to an industrial City that relies, in large part, on the Forest Industry.
With the addition of the Pine Beetle, a devastating scourge for huge areas of Forest, and the additional layoffs with reference to the slumping housing market, there is fear here...fear of the future, for those with young families. A familiar scenario.
It seems, while I live in the City, I will be required to take more care, to leave the small town naivety I came with behind.
As one of the RCMP officers said...Do you remember those quiet walks on the Beach? And he gave a small chuckle.
Yes. I do, indeed.
Today, however, a few days after the incident...I bask in the gentle Wind and Sun, feeling perfectly at ease, grounded and safe. I've already seen three Moose...amazingly huge beings...and am watching the different Birds. I see, before my eyes, the Cariboo waking up, and a wondrous sight it is.
I am grateful to be here.
The decision to move was exactly right.