Sunday, March 29, 2009

Dream Breakthrough

It's been a whole year since we took ownership of our home in the Cariboo.  And I realized this morning, as flakes of Snow drifted down, covering the melting, dirty Snow once again, that most of it has been spent in Wintery conditions.

We have signs of Spring; the buds on the shrubs and bushes are swelling...even the buds on the Hydrangea bushes I planted last Summer are thickening. I am thankful.  Quite frankly, I did not expect any of the new plants to come through the onslaught of the Cold.


But with the weather forecast calling for Snow and more Snow...even now, when the Cherry blossoms are blooming in Japan...it'll be awhile before my new plants and I can enjoy warmer weather.

Yet, even with cold weather, the Birds are in their full, delightful Spring song.  They congregate around the bird feeder in ever increasing numbers, their bright plumage standing out against the white Snow.


The other day, tired from cleaning and baking in preparation for company arriving, I sat down with a cup of Tea and my needlework.  My needlework is almost finished; much of my anxiety at not being outside and exercising has been poured into this canvas. I've discovered just how meditative needleworking can be.


But I was more tired than I had thought.  Soon, I drifted off, needle in hand and soft music from the seventies playing in the background.


I have had a recurring dream for as long as I can remember. In it, I am selling a house I am presently living in.  I show this house to other people, knowing full well there is another area to the home which I am not able to access.


In my dreams, there have been times when I am allowed a glimpse.  I remember one dream where I wandered through the dusty and cobweb-filled rooms, marvelling at the possibilities this part of the house had. 


The empty rooms were all finished with tall windows allowing the Sun to stream in.  They were dusty and dirty as well...as if no one had ever cleaned them...or looked through them.  But the motes of dust danced in the shafts of Sunlight and the feeling here was one of loving comfort.


In this dream, I knew I must someday show this part of the house...it made me so happy and I knew the house would sell if I could only show it to prospective buyers.


But it is rare to be allowed a glimpse, and I was saddened when I found the stairs back to the main home.  Was I ever going to be allowed to show this area, which was there, but seemed to be unattainable?


And so, when I drifted off in front of the fire the other day, I was surprised when my dream once more showed me this house.  Once more I was trying to sell it to prospective buyers.


For years, I have not attempted to find what I call the forbidden part, when I dream of this house.  This dream was no exception...I no longer agonize over finding it.  And since I am quite often "awake" when I dream, I thought to myself...Not again! 


But I was warm and very comfortable, the way one can be when all work has been completed and all is right with the World. I decided to continue dreaming, wondering if I would catch a glimpse of the very private part of the home this time.


This dream seemed slightly different.  Things were askew in the home, which seemed odd to me as I was trying to sell it. The rooms were dark and dingy; it looked as if nobody had cared for it for a very long time.


I was puzzled.  I noticed my prospective buyers had melted away, and I was on my own. I wandered through, thinking this part of the home had certainly seen better days...why was the furniture all placed askew...why was the fireplace belching out dark billows of smoke? It became difficult to breathe here, in these darkened rooms.


Many Spiders, an Eagle and a Wolf suddenly appeared in one room, which looked like an extremely messy family room. I thought to myself... If these Animals had full run of this home, no wonder it was dingy and dirty.  And I tried to shoo them away.


But each Animal hovered close to me, seemingly pushing me towards a door I had not previously noticed. And as soon as I did notice it, I was filled with foreboding. No...No...no more of these doors which led to nowhere...I was tired of them!  Did these yammering, excited animals not understand this simple fact?


It seemed not. I stood and looked at this strange curved door for a long while, ignoring the shoving of Wolf, the crawling Spider which insisted on circling my ear, and the wings of Eagle, who stirred up so much dust.


I pondered and pondered.  What a strange door! It was painted in dark greens and purples with odd carvings.  It was a rounded, arched door.  It was also securely closed with a strong latch. In all the dreams I had had previously, I had never noticed this door. And I did not want to undo the latch.


Yet I am known for wandering into circumstances where Fear stands strong.  I have known the face of Fear over the years, and he has become a companion, almost.  The face of Fear can dissolve into gentle understanding and perspective, given enough time.


I undid the latch and the door slowly opened, with great creaking at first, then quickly expanding to display a great, huge room, filled with light. 

And here I was, once again, back in the forbidden area which I had searched for so many times.


It was different.  Someone had placed an old shaggy carpet over the plank floors.  Someone had covered the windows with heavy drapery. And yet Light filled the room and the Air was sweet and clean and new. Once again, I felt filled with possibilities...and filled with knowledge that this time...I could make them happen.


My animal companions danced, seemingly with joy.  And suddenly, I was no longer the only human here...there were children playing, there were people I loved here with me. I was showing off this part of the house I had always admired but which I had never been able to share.


I stayed in my dream room a long while, it seemed to me.  I searched the entire room, marvelling at the treasures I found, and showing them to the people around me.  I threw open the drapes, loving the tall windows which let in streams of Sunlight. I noticed the gardens all around, a little overgrown, but with such charm!


There was much whispering amongst my animal companions. I understood their strange language...I knew that these rooms I was sharing was a part of me I had allowed no one to see.  The time had not been right before; the time to do so was now.  Instead of hankering for these light-filled, happy rooms...I was to live in them.


And with this understanding, the creaking door closed and melted away.  All I was left with was happiness and a very clear joy, in these new rooms which were filled with endless possibilities; with the very sure knowledge that whatever or wherever or however those possibilities were to arrive, the way forward would be paved and clear.


I was not required to go back through the door to the dark and dingy old part of this house.  When I awoke, my last memory was of children playing, the swoosh of Eagle wings, the warm body of the Wolf pressing against me, and the tickle of Spider on my ear.


And further, I awoke with such a feeling of joy I cannot express it  here. Huge, expansive and effervescent joy travelled back with me. I felt positively merry! I felt as if I had been re-born.


I broke through! My defences, my walls had crumbled down and I had allowed others to see who I was, without fear of reprisals.

And now, it seems all I have to do to feel the overwhelming joy is to remember the dream, during my daily chores.  Inevitably, the strange happiness will curl itself around me, like a warm hug.


Absolutely awesome!


15 comments:

  1. What a beautiful dream! It seem so symbolic and full of magic! I wish I could dream like that :) I want to dream like that. I feel I need to open up to them.

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  2. If I could have dreams like that I would sleep a lot more often. I love wolves, spiders and eagles even though the first two get a very bad press.

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  3. Marion, I always have to give myself plenty of time to read and absorb your writings, but its worth it. A complete contrast to my style, which is really just one liners. Spring is on its way here, the weather is warmer and many more blossoms are out. Thats the upside of living in the flow of the Gulf Stream. But if the Arctic ice cap carries on melting the way it is doing then all could change, and in not the too distant future. Take care.

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  4. I just read: "Western psychology says that when something changes in your life, it will be reflected in your dreams. Shamanism says that when something changes in your dreams, it will be reflected in your life." ("The Sun" magazine, April interview with Leslie Gray)
    I tend to believe the latter.

    I wish I could detect any animal or animals which may be my guides or guardians; you are very lucky. Still looking . . .

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  5. Nice to hear Spring coming your way as this one you can now enjoy after all the activity and unknowing of the last one.

    You really have such amazing dreams and what is the most surprising is you full memory of them. I tend to only remember my nightmares and even those not fully, just the bit that wakes me up.

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  6. White Witch,

    That's all you have to do...put your wishes out there and they'll appear!

    Jan,

    LOL! Sleeping can give us answers, if you're an active dreamer. I love Spiders and Wolves as well...they're extremely complex in dreams. Eagle, of course, is a message from Spirit, not always easily deciphered.

    Davem,

    You've been posting some awesome photos lately. I've so enjoyed seeing other parts of the World, where Spring is so much further ahead. I read somewhere these tough Winters we've been having may be the start of a thirty or forty year cycle of colder weather. Along with global warming, we'll not be having picnics!

    Goatman,

    I believe the latter, as well. My dreams are generally precursors. Lately, too, they've accelerated...more and more items and walls (I remember, specifically, an old banister with burns all over it being restored, in my recent dreaming) are being repaired or cleaned.

    Sometimes guides are right under our noses. Seems to me you have a huge affinity with your Ducks?

    I've found guides change as well, through the years. Bear was my very first one; I still have a great affinity for him, but I had a dream where he was walking away from me. I took it for what it was. Eagle took Bear's place, and now Spider (a few years for her) and Wolf. The spinner of Words and the teacher.

    Hm.

    And then, of course, there's Rock and Wind...hugely attracted to those. And Water is a humongous aid in my life passages.

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  7. What a wonderful dream Marion. Dreams are usually symbolic of things. It's almost like the animals were like your spirit guides. You are happy and settled in your new home and your confidence shines through Marion. You've grown both mentally and spiritually in your new home and you've reached a stage in your life where you are happy and confident in your own skin. Spring is here and life can only get better. Hope all your wishes come true Marion.

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  8. Thanks for your thoughts on this. The only animal I remember dreaming around is the snake. I have had several where large water snakes exist in shallow water in a narrow stream. They never hurt me and the only reaction is my fear that they may -- which may be my fault for not trusting. I never dream of my ducks and when I have some ducks that I allow myself to get close to, they tend to lose their fears and disappear some lonely night probably to a coyote (too much trust?).

    So for now I guess it will be snake.

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  9. Jackie,

    Some dreams are so vivid that when I write about them, I seem to go back into a dream state. Now, this dream had many more twists and turns to it than I have written here (it would have been a book!) but the essence is here.

    I tend to turn what some people call nightmares into learning experiences...what is the dream trying to tell me? What frightens me so much? If you can recall the last bits, try writing them down and contemplate on those during the day...the answer will arrive. Sometimes a while after, actually.

    Naomi,

    So nice to see you back! I hope your computer problems have receded and that you are enjoying a much needed Spring. Spring in England...I imagine it must be beautiful!

    These animals were my guides, at least in this dream, and in others. I feel privileged in their company, even though sometimes I am darn right ornery when they appear, and certainly do not show gratitude. They appear to overlook my moods, lol!

    Goatman,

    Isn't that something! How lucky you are...Snake is a great healer and spiritual icon. She represents versatility, transmutation and change, fertility and sexuality. She sheds her skin, leaving the old behind and embracing the new.

    Snake can also strike, even after giving warning. People with Snake as a guide quite often have the ability to come up with surefire comments, leaving the recipient of the statement a little boggled.

    The fact that you're frightened is not unusual...a guide is a part of yourself, after all, and sometimes people don't really like that part.

    Go to http://www.manizone.co.uk/snake-animal-totem-a-33.html if you want to learn more about what Snake may mean to you.

    Also check and see what your birth animal is...this always surprises me, when I do a birth spread for people.

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  10. That you called snake "her" is a great aid. I never thought to consider gender, but it helps with the apprehension somehow. (I am not afraid of any animal but the "fear" I sense is more of the darkness and watery shadows in which the snake appears)
    Thanks for the link, I shall indulge.
    Happy spring

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  11. Hello Marion,

    I am so intrigued by the symbolism in your dream and by the feelings it evoked for you during and after. No doubt you are on to some big transformations in your life perhaps inner and outer!

    I am in Vancouver and we had a little snow yesterday too. There are cherry blossoms and forsythia blooming everywhere here, though back home most things are still in Winter slumber.

    I truly enjoy your poetic writing, always unique and engaging. Thanks!

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  12. Goatman,

    Apprehension, of course, is a much better way to describe what you feel. In dreams, shadowy watery places connect strongly to my emotional body...there is something in there I don't want to face. Especially shallow, dark places...they appear too close to the surface.

    Happy, happy Spring to you and yours as well!

    Miruh,

    We're heading to the Coast for Easter and I was hoping, very strongly, that I would be able to see Leaves on the Trees. So happy my friend Forsythia is blooming...mine here will take another month or so. I hear Spring has been set back on the Coast at least a couple of weeks, as well.

    The sheer amount of symbolism in my dream surprised me as well...it is as if the Universe sent me a dream I could easily decipher. I'm grateful I don't feel I have to scratch my head after this one!

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  13. Marion, what a vivid description! My dreams are remembered so rarely. I wonder what that says about me. Maybe I need to look harder for my guides. So much is still unsettled.

    Here's to Spring! I can't wait until the sun is stronger and the days warmer.

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  14. Sheila,

    You have a strong affinity for animals, I remember a story you wrote about a Hawk that visited you. Sometimes, I get so wrapped up in whatever is occurring, my emotional body takes over and the spiritual body is ignored. It takes awhile before I realize what I'm doing...

    Spring has sprung here...we've had temps in the teens centigrade for the last few days, although we still have what I call glaciers in the lower spots on our property. They are melting ever so slowly!

    Happy Spring to you and enjoy your Easter break! We're heading to the Coast and our family...especially the Grands!

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  15. What a totally wonderful dream - so rich in symbolism and as White Witch says, soul magic!

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