Thursday, January 05, 2006

Off to Africa!

What a whirlwind the last few days have been! Gray's son Scott has left for Cape Town, and along with the excitement of experiencing a new culture, came the inevitable sadness at leaving loved ones behind.

But this is the way it has been and is for eons when the youngsters leave on a quest. I remember (oh,oh..) when I left home...and had I been more aware at the time, I might have realized that I was also leaving on a lifelong spiritual quest.

Life changed completely for me, almost as soon as I closed the door of my parent's home behind me. The changes happened so quickly, it is only now that I am able to look back and process them, and how they impacted my life, in those early adulthood years.

And it is now that I realize how much each event included choices. Every choice I made had another possibility, and another life, had I chosen those. Some of my paths I chose were so obviously wrong when I started on amazes me how I didn't see the pitfalls. But I was young, and invincible, I thought. And full of enthusiasm for living my life... my way.

But that was only to last for a very short time. Marriage and babies took over ( one of those choices I mentioned) and my way of living was now, once again, someone else's choice. I lived other people's ways and ideas for most of my life.

Then the world daughter died and my marriage dissolved. It became so obvious, even to this dreamy Pisces, that I wasn't following my heart's advice, or my soul's purpose. It became obvious because my life's path was only getting rockier and harder to traverse.

I spent a few years with my inner self. Alone, I immersed myself with learning who I was. The Universe and the Powers That Be gave me this time, and I am so thankful for it. I listened to other peoples' opinions, took what I could use, and left the rest. I finally learned to listen to myself, first and foremost. Without guilt.

It is easy to see where I went wrong, with hindsight. It was not so easy at the time. And of course, Scott will have choices wherever he goes, and he will also feel invincible. But he is nowhere near as naive as I was, has so much more wisdom than I did at his age. And he has a father who shares his experiences and wise words with his son, who always listens.

My wish for Scott is that he will follow his heart. That he will listen to his soul's advice. That he learns what his intuition is telling him. And that all the paths he will follow in his life will go as smoothly as his trip to Africa, where he will do his practicum with Downhill Adventures

When Scott returns in three months, he will have made and executed many choices...and the boy we sent off to Africa will go further along his path towards mature manhood.

It seems growing up still has those wonderful choices as soon as we close the door to our parent's home behind us.

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