Every seven years, there is an evolutionary spiral. I am fifty-six, just entering my eighth cycle. According to the research I have involved myself with these last few days, going deeper and deeper, until I wondered where or what time it was...at fifty-six, there is often a tendency to let go of the past and begin anew.
This time period is also the second Return of Saturn for me. It is much different for me, now, than during the first Return, when I was around 28. I had a strange perspective on life at that time.
At the age of twenty-eight, I had already amassed a string of crises and life lessons. Because I did not want to face or deal with any of them, even if the opportunity was there to do so, I drowned all awareness in alcohol.
I hardly drank before the age of twenty-eight. Suddenly, in a few years, I managed to become an alcoholic, almost as if it was predestined. This state of affair illustrates what can happen when the seven-year cycles are not treated as opportunities to grow. According to this article, the writer states:
"At each seven-year round, there is an aggressiveness equal to the level of physical energy released. That aggressiveness, if treated with respect and guided, can become a very powerful tool in the life of the individual. If, on the other hand, it is treated as a case of leprosy, if the individuals are shoved aside and not listened to, then there is going to be a buildup of that energy added to the next seven year cycle."
Indeed. It seemed I almost had an intense need to drink myself silly, and then go through the recovery with the same need, all in a required period of time...it took two further seven-year cycles to complete the marathon.
I embarked on a whirlwind of self work, as I headed towards my forty- second year, where I integrated my whole self and stopped drinking. The forty-second year is the polarity of the twenty-eighth year and therefore, is a time of major change once again.
At this time, too, I began serious spiritual work, utilizing my newfound knowledge daily. Wondering why was I here, what could I give, instead of take, from the Universe and those around me...these occupied my thoughts, as well.
Leading up to my forty-ninth year, my daughter died, catapulting me further. My second marriage went the way of the first. These were the doubting years...the questioning years. I continually asked myself...What have I done with my life, where can I go from here...can I go anywhere from here?
My life turned upside down, inside out. I moved out of my hometown; I met and co-habit with the truest partner that will ever exist, for me. I attempted many things I would never have tried, all those cycles ago. I challenged myself consistently, although sometimes in very small ways.
I discovered I could let go of much stuff, both emotional and material, in order to grab a new and different pathway. One where I could find the peace and serenity I sought, but also one where adventure beckons, sometimes just around the corner.
And now, I'm fifty-six, where the next cycle will teach me to value my achievements, to come to terms with the events in my past that are too late to change, and to find new goals or further the old. At least as far as the limits and constraints imposed by body, mind, spirit...and the availability of money.
According to the chart I checked, Saturn will return on approximately October, 2009 to April, 2010. These are the times when the intensity level of my life can become extreme, during this cycle of seven. One thing I have learned...the price of avoidance of these cycles is high. Perhaps the next seven years will be joyous or painful; it is, without a doubt, an opportunity to learn.
This energy cycle I am in already feels better...as if I am settling in to who I am. Where I'm mostly comfortable, but like an old shoe where the seams unravel, sometimes a sore spot or two appears.
Those spots take some tending; I notice, however, that they seem to go away...become less important...as time passes.
And in this cycle, I am reaping the benefits of all those crises and lessons. I have finally learned to enjoy going with the flow.
I am harvesting the first half of my life and preparing the soil for the sowing of the second.
With great anticipation.