Friday, January 23, 2009

Destiny and Dreams

I am beginning to feel like a character living in a distant, Wintry Forest, those which are depicted so well in the Grimm's Brother's fairy tales.

Or perhaps, the countryside in Russia shown in Dr. Zhivago is also descriptive of where I live. Parts of it were filmed in Canada, after all.

Do you remember the scene where Zhivago says goodbye to Lara?  Those fields through which the horse drawn wagon takes Lara...away from Dr. Zhivago...those fields are very reminiscent of the vast, snow blanketed land in the Cariboo.

I wept rivers...torrents of tears...during that scene.

As a very impressionable fourteen year old when Dr. Zhivago aired; as a child who read Grimm's tales, inhaling descriptions of the sometimes terrifying  landscape in each story...I pledged then, so many years ago, to live in a similar area.

I pledged, in my romantic adolescent mind, to one day live in a harsh climate, believing, in a very imaginative way, that this was the one of the ways I could face the demons of life.

I had forgotten my youthful pledge, but the Universe sent a message this morning.  Lara's Theme was running through my head, even before I opened my eyes.

This morning, the temperature read -24C. With a North West Wind, it was not long before the inside of my nose became rimmed with frost... Cold is cold, as Goatman's brother says, but I'm here to tell you whatever one thinks is can get much colder.

But with the words from Lara's theme by Paul Francis Webster..." Somewhere, my love, there will be songs to sing, although the Snow covers the hopes of Spring. Somewhere, a hill blossoms in green and gold, and there are dreams, all that your heart can hold..." racing through my mind, during the morning chores, I remembered my long ago pledge.

With a cup of coffee steaming in my hand, I looked out at the awesome, silent Snow-covered landscape. And I remembered the dreams I had, so many, of living in a place just like here, right where I am.  How amazing.

I already understand, deep in my gut, I am here, in the Cariboo, to lay my inner demons to rest.  There have been numerous messages telling me so; I have largely ignored them. I fill my time, instead, with renos and landscaping, needleworking (an old hobby, becoming new again), and any other thing I can find to hide from what my soul is trying to bring to the forefront.

There are no signs of Spring here; there are no hills blossoming in greens and golds as yet, but this doesn't mean they are not there. The longer I live here, the more I understand about trusting something I cannot, as yet, visualize. The seeds of healing myself are only beginning to germinate.

When the time is right, they will burst into bloom...

In the meantime, I am living where, from earliest memories, I have visualized myself to be. It is proof to me how powerful visualizations are...especially if they have been held close for a lifetime.

Quite suddenly, I find myself in the place of my dreams.  And just because the reality is somewhat different from adolescent imaginings, just because the cold is harsh and Winter is long, does not mean Spring will not arrive.

It does not mean hope is lost.

The Universe doesn't make mistakes. I am here to find some thing of which I am not aware, perhaps.

Patience...ahhh, that old Lady the key.


  1. Anonymous4:49 p.m.

    Hello Marion,

    I too remember those wondrous wintry scenes from Dr Zhivago but I can't honestly say that I dreamed of someday living there.

    I do believe our dreams are God's whispers to us and when we listen and make them our own, God opens the way to bring them into manifestation, they become our destiny.

    The pictures and your words are truly beautiful, thanks!

  2. Marion, I remember Dr. Zhivago too and like you, I wept too. The music, the love story, the strife--all of that captured my heart but never the harsh winter. It got pretty darned cold here last weekend (-30) and that was just about as much cold as I could take. Thankfully we are up to single digits today after a balmy 30 degrees yesterday.

    But what you say about winter is interesting. One thing I do appreciate is that I am anticipating a glorious spring. Can't wait.

  3. Dr. Zhivago was the best show. I love to look at the snow, but hate driving in it, and I think we have winter so that we can appreciate spring.

  4. Beautiful post as always. And now I will have Lara's theme in my head for the rest of the day. I wish I could think of snow as something other than that which is to be avoided at all costs, but reading your blog is as close as I want to get to it in my old age.

  5. Your optimism is admirable and enviable. I am filling time hoping for the new life as well; its just that mine will come way before yours, but I'll send you a picture!

    In the meantime I am searching for what historical terms for "chignon" may be (as inspired by Princess' Post).
    Always something to do even if its wrong!!
    Keep smiling marion

  6. Marion,
    I enjoyed that movie too and it does have amazing, pristine snowscapes. I grew up in the North Country of New York and fled its winters as a young adult. When I reexamine my life I admit that the most aesthetic, moving, spiritually purifying parts of myself were required for survival there. I can understand what you sought out the travails of extreme weather because they demand an examined life. It is very easy to be very trendy, cool in casual Cal. You have my admiration and promise, that beneath the snow will lurk again the heart of an untouched white crocus promised for you.

  7. Miruh,

    It is inexplicable...this urge I've had forever to live in a harsh landscape and/or climate. From the emails and messages, it appears even if people enjoyed reading or watching settings such as these, the urge to actually live there was missing.

    When I look back, I totally immersed myself in stories involving climates such as these. It was what interested me...the descriptions, the life, etc...


    One thing I've learned, living up that there is no choice but to embrace Winter. Southern climes have cold spells, which change and warm up again. is Cold in Winter. That's it. And very, very Sunny!

    Spring is unbelievable in its lushness, here...I'm looking forward, as well!


    Thank you for visiting. I believe you're absolutely right!


    But wasn't that a beautiful video, though? Minus the castles, it could be the Cariboo.

    Ah, well...I'll let you know what this experience has taught me, as well...when I've learned it.


    Thanks a bunch! I'll look forward to photos of leaves budding, and daffodils poking through soil...way before, I'll bet, Snow and Ice breakup here!

    You've got me interested in chignon...I'll have to visit Princess's blog to find out what she said. I've been away for a few days.


    Thank you for such a lovely comment. It truly made me feel much better this morning!

    Crocus and daffs and tulips are there, under all that Snow.Hope is in the forefront of my thoughts on this particular day.

  8. and any other thing I can find to hide from what my soul is trying to bring to the forefront.

    There is a very strange but haunting song posted on my blog today, titled "Ghosts"--I think you might really like it... it describes this phenomenon so well. Have a listen and let me know if I'm right. :)


  9. Dr. Zhivago, Wow does that bring back some old memories. Your pictures do remind me of that movie. Yes this year has been sooooooo cold even here in Connecticut. And Cold is Cold. Yet, this year the cold feels much colder. Patience is the lesson to be learned here you are so correct. Thanks for your post and stay as warm as you can.

  10. Daisy,

    You're absolutely right about "Ghosts"...the songwriter expresses my feelings completely! Thank you for finding all those old songs. The video with Ghosts was haunting, as you say, but very beautiful. I've played it a few times, lol!


    I believe it's been a tough Winter everywhere. I'm grateful for the warmth of the fireplace...and a steaming cup of tea! There'll be a time for the work Spring brings; right now I get to take a rest and a break!