Friday, July 18, 2008

Tunnel Dream

I have stated many times before, after finishing the building of a kitchen, that I would never do it again.

And each time I say "never"... the Universe sends me another challenge.

So this time, I expresse
d relief and heartfelt gratitude at the completion of the new kitchen here. I caught myself a few times, wanting to say never again. But even if I can catch the words before they flow out of my mouth...I know I still feel it.

Kitchen builds are horrendous. The upheaval, the waiting and the patience required to do so make these renovations one of the most stressful. And I already had a kitchen I could use while this one was I was far ahead of the usual game.

But it's finished now. A few bugs here and there still have to be worked out. It is a beautiful kitchen, with the woodwork made of Hickory and oil-rubbed Bronze pulls for the drawers.

And each drawer is self-closing, making a smooth snicking sound as it does so.

It would be anyone's dream, this kitchen. And yet...I have not completely accepted it as mine. With a whole heart.

There are so many changes, you see. My mind can't seem to keep up these days.

The other morning, as I went into the new kitchen to prepare breakfast, I had to ask myself...Which kitchen was I in? The motel kitchen, the old kitchen here, the Rye Road kitchen...or the new kitchen?

And if, in my morning addled state, I was in the new kitchen...where on Earth did I put everything yesterday?

And how does the dishwasher work, to its fullest capacity? And the fridge...there must be a way to optimize the space...and when does the Ice Maker start to work? This oven is a newer model of my older one...and the makers, in their wisdom, have changed quite a few crucial elements I had grown accustomed to. Such as entering the temperature, should I not want the pre-set one.

Can you sense I am not, in this instance, enamoured with more change?

I believe it is because I have to focus my sad, tired Mind. These days my Mind wants to flow along the proverbial River of Life, without any obsta
cles in the way. My Mind wants a rest.

I have become overwhelme
d. I have probably been so for some time...but it took me awhile to realize it.

The least thing throws me off. It is time to de-stress, it is time to balance my body. I am way off the balance beam. Most of my attention has been focused on the Physical body...and I have ignored the Spiritual, Emotional and Mental bodies to a great degree.

Just when I'm ready to sit on the Pity Pot for an extended stay...a Hand...a strong but gentle Hand directs me to a chair on the deck. I know this Hand...strong directions emanate from it...and I do not resist. It seems impos
sible to do so.

Instantly, I am whisked away, down long tunnels, different colours in each. I discover I can ask for what I want to see...I may or may not be granted a vision, however. When I ask to see, the speed of the flow into the tunnel intensifies. And the visions granted are quick...Awareness is key, I discover.

And each time, at the end of the tunnel, whatever vision
I received, I was enveloped by strong, golden light.

The Hand and its pressure to sit are not eased, for a long while. I use the Wind Chimes to call me back, finally...and Lucky, whose wet nose pushes
my hand and wakes me completely.

Again, I am reminded I am not alone. The Powers-That-Be watch and wait for a time when I am willing to hear, with open Heart and receptive Mind.

The new kitchen can be approached with awe and discovery, instead of anxiety and grumbles. I have the ability to change my outlook, thereby changing the reality into one that feels like mine.

And once I decided to change my approach, things fell into place much more smoothly and intuition once more reigned.

The kitchen, the heart of the home, is done...ready and waiting for me to take charge.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel.


  1. I have gone through two kitchen transformations and I will never do it again. Maybe I lack something in my soul that won't let me adjust to another change. Or maybe I could find the ability to adapt to change after all.

  2. Once you "put your mark" on it then it will feel comfortable. Cooking up some of your favourite recipes will do the trick,and learning about the variations in temperatures and times of this new oven compared to your old one. Enjoy it and have fun, it really is beautiful.

  3. Beautiful kitchen. I amsure you will love it when it starts to feel like home to you. I am the same way with 'never'. I had a tacher tell me that anything you say you will never do, you will end up doing it. I learned the truth of this at an early age so I seldom use the word.

    I am glad you got to have such a lovely spiritual respite. I always feel better after something like that.

  4. Jan,

    It's amazing what we did, when I look back on it...guess we can all just about do anything, if it must be done.

    There are so many decisions in building a head started to spin after awhile.


    It sounds to me as if you have done this before, lol! And you're right...I made pies, one of my favourite things, in the new kitchen. I understand it a lot better now.


    It took only a little while and I feel much better about it. It is done, and it feels as if a hugh weight has been lifted off our shoulders.

    The meditation gave me a boost in the right direction, instead of letting me waffle around all over the place.

  5. This is a lovely kitchen. I focused on the part of your post dealing with the feeling of being overwhelmed, however. I share a bit of that and I hope you find meditation works. I think I need to try that too.

  6. I have never heard of hickory for cabinets, but why not. We have a tree about here called shagbark hickory, very prolific. But I'd not considered it as a furniture wood--till now.
    I'm sure you know that moving and all that involves is a life-change akin to losing a loved one as far as impact on stability and sanity are concerned. After having moved 14 times in 23 years, we are planted here till death do us part.
    . . . I dearly hope

  7. An amazing coincidence, Marion, posting about your beautiful kitchen just about the time you'll be hosting people in a progressive dinner.

    A beautiful kitchen too; I would have no doubt you're up to a cosmic challenge.


  8. Sheila,

    Please try the meditation...there are a number of web pages and books out that give hints. It is one of the most stimulating and relaxing, at the same time, for me to do when I feel completely at sea.

    Meditating stills your mind, letting what is really important come foremost.


    The hickory cabinets come from your part of the world, I believe...Thomasville Furniture? Anyway, we chose it because it clearly shows the is really a wood lover's wood. I love it.

    I have got to give myself some time to catch up and take a breath...I know the statistics on moving. I hope you're settled as well, now.


    I have almost finished my post for the Soup to Nuts Carnival. So many entries and so many different opinions...I hope everybody will read and leave comments, thereby earning yourself a link.

    Yes. I am glad the kitchen is done in time to host such an eclectic group for Dinner, cyber or not!

  9. What a wonderful kitchen you now have and what a pretty view. Self closing drawers, just what I need to prevent all the hip bruises I get LOL.

    Well you appear to be well and truly settled now which is amazing in such a short time seeing you moved to a totally new area.

  10. Yes, you are making excellent progress! We moved before you did and we won't be doing the kitchen till next year - along with an extension to the side of the building (we hope). I don't know what a nightmare it's going to be yet, so I'm quite sanguine about it. Of course, I've just read in your post about what a nightmare it's going to be, but that's no substitute for first-hand experience. Anyway, your kitchen looks great. I hope ours looks equally good when it's finished.

    That seems to have been a great experience you had. It's great when you get a sane perspective on things. It's so easy to lose that sanity - it goes against many years of being taught to do without it.