I have stated many times before, after finishing the building of a kitchen, that I would never do it again.
And each time I say "never"... the Universe sends me another challenge.
So this time, I expressed relief and heartfelt gratitude at the completion of the new kitchen here. I caught myself a few times, wanting to say never again. But even if I can catch the words before they flow out of my mouth...I know I still feel it.
Kitchen builds are horrendous. The upheaval, the waiting and the patience required to do so make these renovations one of the most stressful. And I already had a kitchen I could use while this one was built...so I was far ahead of the usual game.
But it's finished now. A few bugs here and there still have to be worked out. It is a beautiful kitchen, with the woodwork made of Hickory and oil-rubbed Bronze pulls for the drawers.
And each drawer is self-closing, making a smooth snicking sound as it does so.
It would be anyone's dream, this kitchen. And yet...I have not completely accepted it as mine. With a whole heart.
There are so many changes, you see. My mind can't seem to keep up these days.
The other morning, as I went into the new kitchen to prepare breakfast, I had to ask myself...Which kitchen was I in? The motel kitchen, the old kitchen here, the Rye Road kitchen...or the new kitchen?
And if, in my morning addled state, I was in the new kitchen...where on Earth did I put everything yesterday?
And how does the dishwasher work, to its fullest capacity? And the fridge...there must be a way to optimize the space...and when does the Ice Maker start to work? This oven is a newer model of my older one...and the makers, in their wisdom, have changed quite a few crucial elements I had grown accustomed to. Such as entering the temperature, should I not want the pre-set one.
Can you sense I am not, in this instance, enamoured with more change?
I believe it is because I have to focus my sad, tired Mind. These days my Mind wants to flow along the proverbial River of Life, without any obstacles in the way. My Mind wants a rest.
I have become overwhelmed. I have probably been so for some time...but it took me awhile to realize it.
The least thing throws me off. It is time to de-stress, it is time to balance my body. I am way off the balance beam. Most of my attention has been focused on the Physical body...and I have ignored the Spiritual, Emotional and Mental bodies to a great degree.
Just when I'm ready to sit on the Pity Pot for an extended stay...a Hand...a strong but gentle Hand directs me to a chair on the deck. I know this Hand...strong directions emanate from it...and I do not resist. It seems impossible to do so.
Instantly, I am whisked away, down long tunnels, different colours in each. I discover I can ask for what I want to see...I may or may not be granted a vision, however. When I ask to see, the speed of the flow into the tunnel intensifies. And the visions granted are quick...Awareness is key, I discover.
And each time, at the end of the tunnel, whatever vision I received, I was enveloped by strong, golden light.
The Hand and its pressure to sit are not eased, for a long while. I use the Wind Chimes to call me back, finally...and Lucky, whose wet nose pushes my hand and wakes me completely.
Again, I am reminded I am not alone. The Powers-That-Be watch and wait for a time when I am willing to hear, with open Heart and receptive Mind.
The new kitchen can be approached with awe and discovery, instead of anxiety and grumbles. I have the ability to change my outlook, thereby changing the reality into one that feels like mine.
And once I decided to change my approach, things fell into place much more smoothly and intuition once more reigned.
The kitchen, the heart of the home, is done...ready and waiting for me to take charge.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel.