Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Weaver of Dreams

After a few days of hot weather, Spider has been busy weaving her web across almost every pathway in my garden. They are small, yet, the webs...the Spiders who make them are still young themselves.

But those webs are still sticky enough to get caught in my glass frames, in my hair and every place on my body that touches them. And most times, there is a passenger in the figure of Spider that catches a ride to wherever I'm going.

Usually, this doesn't bother me. I will brush off the insect; I am not afraid of these wondrous eight- legged beings. After all, my life path number is an 8...

It is when Spider tries to get my attention by inflicting a bite or two on my person, when enormous Spiders show up, right in my path, when Spider webs become too numerous to ignore...this is when I know Spider is trying to send a message.

Sometimes, when a message or portent shows up, I ignore them. Sometimes, I just get plain tired of deciphering the many messengers that herald transformation, change and miraculous rebirth. And sometimes, there is fear inside of me...if I ignore these missives, perhaps I can, somehow, still deny them...

But Spider, now...Grandmother Spider manifested the World, when she wove the dream of the physical reality. Spider is the weaver of words...the writer's totem.

Was I going to ignore and deny Grand- mother Spider?

I don't think so.

There are many Spiders around just now, everywhere. Usually, I am not terribly cognizant of them...they are just there.

But now I was remembering each and every encounter...they were becoming extraordinary, in a world of many.

I remembered Grandmother Spider's mantra...create, create, create. She reminds me I am infinite, that I will continue to weave the patterns of life throughout eternity, that this life is only a drop in the limitless Universe.

When she took a chunk out of my leg, she was insistent I listen. There were opportunities arriving that I was going to miss, if I did not become more aware of what I was trying to create. If I forgot, before life's involvement got in the way, that I was creating a new phase in my life.

But I felt there was more.

I asked Spider for a dream, at night before I drifted off to sleep. I asked every night for a few days...and then the dream appeared.

It was a good one. I was in a golden Wheat field, with a vast deep blue Sky and billowing, silver-rimmed Clouds drifting across Sun. I was warm, almost a prickly warmth...the kind of sensitivity that occurs just before perspiration breaks. Wind's presence was barely detectable.

The World hummed along. No civilized sounds broke the silence...only a deep, abiding thrum of energy waves. I was barely breathing, it seemed I did not have the same urgency to breathe as normal beings do.

I was surrounded by the Wheat, standing straight and tall...it seemed I was looking up at the seed heads. And I noticed the fine webbing, touching each and every stalk of Wheat. Some of the webbing was thicker in places than others. Some were finer. But they were all connected, a few obviously mended...but on the whole unbroken...a perfect, intricate web.

I could not move. I could not make a positive move in any direction. That prickly sensation intensified if I tried. I felt bound and very limited, rather resentful...and yet, there was acceptance, too. Here is where I found myself; this was a phase in my life, as well.

Spider appeared, swinging and weaving from place to place, amongst the long, golden stalks of Wheat. She was very tiny, a pinprick of shimmering light at the head of her string.

Petulantly, I asked Grandmother Spider why I couldn't move. I had no fear of her; rather, she annoyed me...what was the point of all this?

I heard a throaty chuckle... a deep in the woods kind of sound...and the words, which echoed and swirled around me, like a whirling storm...

Bound and tied, Grandmother Spider said with glee, Bound and tied.

My sulky behaviour disappeared. Fear reared up instead. Grandmother was giving words to a scarcely heard voice in my soul, one that had been denied an audience.

The acceptance of my place in the scheme of things kept the fear at a manageable level. Intrinsically, I understood I was in a dream, that Grandmother Spider, no matter in what way, was giving me a gift. It was my choice whether I would accept her offering.

Resentment at being tied faded away...instead, I decided to find creative means to overcome the hurdles and boulders appearing in my way. And perhaps, some of the ties were of my own making.

Suddenly, I was regarding the Wheat field from above, seeing a shimmering golden sweep of colour that melted into the distant horizon. I watched Grandmother Spider spinning, spinning her Web, her story, until she and the field became one.

I was hot, when I awoke. The days had been most uncomfortably warm; the house had not cooled by Ocean breezes during the night. I went outside, and sat on my stoop. The town chimes rang...4 AM.

The prickly heat sensation disappeared in the breeze that finally appeared. I thought about my limitations and resentment of them, that I had applied to myself. I thought about Grandmother Spider and her words and what they meant to me. Entanglement in the web of my life is strictly of my own choosing; it has little to do with others or circumstances when I place them there, all by myself.

Instead of feeling angry, perhaps I can change my outlook into a more creative one, one where I find joy and movement, instead of stagnation and sadness.

And an outlook where I feel gratitude, instead of disinterest and annoyance, to a totem as powerful as Grandmother Spider, when we meet, would be something I might try to cultivate.

Grandmother Spider, after all, is the Weaver of Dreams, making those Dreams a reality...and she is very worthy of respect.

16 comments:

  1. The spider is one of the most amazing creatures in the universe. I get so angry when people kill them for no reason when they are so beneficial to us and have so many valuable lessons to teach. Good post.

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  2. I love this post...and btw, did you take those photos? you must have a GREAT camera

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  3. Jan, of course you're right...Spider eats so many insects that are detrimental and has so many properties, I wonder at people who immediately step on a Spider. It is so easy to scoop them up in a jar and take them back to the garden.

    I do feel for people who have very real fear/phobia of them, though...there are so many Spiders, it would be difficult to ignore them.

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  4. Savant, thank you. I only wish I had taken these photos, they're from MSN Clipart. I use these as well as my own from time to time.

    I took some pictures of Spider, but none really stood out, except for the biggie that crossed my path. But she was a particularly vicious looking one, and I hesitate to post a picture of her!

    But whoever took these photos must indeed have a GREAT camera!

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  5. Spiders scare the bejiggers out of me, yet I think they are wonderful, beautiful, fascinating creatures... Like much of life, my attitude to them is full of contradictions - thanks for the alternative take...

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  6. I've taken to waving a small branch in front of me while walking the path around our little lake. Beats getting a faceful of spider sticky, as you describe.
    The tarantula picture poses a question: do they produce webs or survive on larger ground-captures?
    I would hate to run into a tarantula web, they would be enormous!

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  7. Spiders are beautiful, but I do step on them if they're in the house. For a while I tried to be kinder to them, but we have so many here it's come down to us or them, and, well, we've claimed the house. We get black widow spiders here, more than anywhere else I've lived in Southern California, and I once let one stay in the house accidentally because the only time I saw it was in the early morning when the house was dark and I, in my nearsightedness, didn't realize it was a black widow. My husband still kids me about that. He was the one who noticed what it was and eradicated it. We encourage alligator lizards in our yard to try to keep them in smaller numbers and avoid poisons as much as possible, but . . . if grandmother spider has a red hourglass on her belly, I don't want her around.

    All the same, they are beautiful creatures, and ordinary garden spiders build the most outrageously gorgeous lacy webs that look splendid in the morning light with dew on them. I do like those. :) (Just to balance things out.)

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  8. This post struck a chord with me. I felt as if I was in the dream too. And it got me to thinking, which is what I love about your writing.

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  9. Wonderful post. Spiders have always fascinated me. I never ever moved any spiders and webs from my house when I had it so many of my friends used to freak out. Also used to get the odd tarantula looking spiders when it rained very hard...they scared me a bit but they went as fast as they came so just stayed out of their path. Sadly I rarely see a spider in my apartment.

    Sorry I haven't popped in lately but things have been so hectic lately.

    Came across a wonderful blog you might find very interesting http://romancingthecrone.wordpress.com/

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  10. Alastair, every once in a great while, there is a certain look to a Spider that makes me back off. Most that live here are harmless, but some can give vicious bites; the one I had was rather uncomfortable.

    On the whole, they fascinate me. When I was a child, I used to collect them in jars and feed them. Fascinating creatures they are!

    Goatman, the image of you and the stick reminds me of myself when I owned my last home...I would take my dog for an early morning walk down to the wood lot, and that stick would come in mighty handy to break the webs crossing my path,lol.

    Can you imagine a Spider Web covering 60 acres? Here's the link...http://www.flatrock.org.nz/topics/animals/millions_of_tiny_spiders.htm

    My partner, when he was in Australia years ago, watched a tarantula walk across the counter into an ice cream bowl...and clean it right up!

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  11. I'll try that link once more...

    http://www.flatrock.org.nz/topics/animals/millions_of_tiny_spiders.htm

    Or look up Flatrock...a 60-acre Web of Mystery, if that link still doesn't post properly!

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  12. Barbara, you and me both! In my youth, I lived in Penticton...I remember those Black Widows very well!

    There are none on Vancouver Island...perhaps a benefit of Island living...many poisonous critters don't live here, such as rattlers. I'm thankful for that.

    And here you thought you were being kind, by leaving this little spider in your house...lol!

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  13. Some tarantulas catch birds with their web/nests. I found another site I found interesting on Spider superstitions...http://www.spiderzrule.com/superstitions.htm, or go to Spiderzrule.com.

    Loads of superstitions regarding that awesome Spider!

    Sheila, thank you...this was such a positive dream, one easy to figure out! Glad you enjoyed it.

    Jackie, thanks for the link...I look forward to looking at that site.

    I was in Palm Springs, Calif. area years ago, and those Tarantulas would actually stop traffic, as they crossed the road. I was in awe...I could see the creature very clearly ahead of the truck in which I was a passenger.

    I have tried to keep up with you, Jackie, but indeed you are busy! Sounds like good things keeping you occupied, however.

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  14. Wow, never been so interested and scared in my life! lol

    I can't stand spiders, one of my phobias.. stemming back to having a giant brown spider bite me when I was a kid.

    But.. on the other hand, I have always found them fascinating, I love their webs and can appreciate those who love them, I on the other hand.. respect them from a longgggg distance. lol :)

    Great post marion!

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  15. I love this post Marion. I also love the analogy you have made between the spider spinning the web and being the weaver of dreams. Great writing! The spider is an amazing creature, even though I do have a fear of them!

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  16. You have been tagged with The Link of Love meme at http://thevegandiet.blogspot.com

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