Balance...the word itself is soothing to me.It seems to smooth the choppy Waters of the River I sometimes raft, against all better judgment.
It is no wonder I like the word, really; the opposite of balance is agitation, instability. A state of being I try to avoid at all costs.
But finding my balance in all things is a little like the photo of the scales, which seem a little off...it takes constant vigilance for me to have complete equanimity.
I was taught well to worry, to go into the what-ifs, to endlessly obsess about any or all imagined crises...it has taken much constant labour to erase these instant reflexes...to stop and think...to remain balanced in the middle of a difficult situation.
At times, my emotional meter is way off the mark; from day to day, my physical body changes with the vagaries of the weather; my spiritual body is usually pretty good; and my mental meter? It's sometimes at the opposite end of where it should be...
But each day is a new day. Each day, as I check my energy bodies for misalignment, I notice where to concentrate on bringing them back...back to balance. It is a dance, granted; sometimes I move back and forth on the balance beam, trying to find the perfect spot. Each day brings new information to light, more tools to use.
And, sometimes, when I achieve really good balance in all areas of my being, it feels like Heaven.
On those days, when every little thing flows along with scarcely a ripple, when even the food I eat is exactly what kind of nourishment my body requires, it is then that I live in the present moment. My mental body nourishes the emotional body, keeping it level and logical. My physical body releases the pent-up negative energy, lessening pain...and my spiritual body is open and receiving good, loving positive energy.
There is nothing like it.
And when the inevitable crises appear, I am discovering it is so much easier, now, to stand back and watch the situation, to let things play out the way they are meant. I am a big believer in Fate and Destiny; my greatest tools are awareness and balance. When I lose either one of those, when I forget that I am not the One in charge; when Ego takes over...I am instantly in trouble.
I get the proverbial slap from the Universe. In no time at all. I try not to tempt Fate, these days.
I have learned that worrying about a person, place or thing, anticipating trouble, is a sure way to bring some into my life. I am manifesting a scenario. I imagine my thoughts being monitored; perhaps the receiver, taking in all these imagined, disastrous story lines from me, over and over...thinks this is what I really desire!
There is such a fine line between good, positive wishes and negative, dark worry...I find myself monitoring my thoughts frequently.
And when the inevitable happens and I get taken aback, when I am awash in emotions, I trust my guides and allies to bail me out, I watch for signals and symbols. I fight for balance. I trust and rely on my intuition.
I struggle for a time, on that balance beam.
And when I relax and give in, when I let go and let God...I find my balance. Every time, it empowers me, steadys me, as if I were my friend, the immovable and impenetrable Rock.
Increasingly, I find my equanimity much faster these days.
The balance dance increases adrenaline in the body; it creates chaos, where there might have been none. I no longer want to be a chaos junkie; therefore I accept the work it takes not to be one.
A balance dance...I guess that's what life is.